Is there a such thing as a phobia of being broke? According to a Google search there is. It's call Peniaphobia and I think I have it. Peniaphobia is defined as the "fear of poverty or being placed in a situation of lack." Ya'll I literally break out in a sweat if my bank account has less that a certain amount in it. I hate feeling like I can't go and purchase what I want (and often times those wants are only things like food, gas, clothing for my children, etc). Just the thought of not being able to provide for us makes me physically ill. I guess that's why I'm such a hustle woman. If I can't find a job? I create my own company and employ myself. If my oil needs to be changed and I can't pay for it? I change it myself.
I also think growing up broke as hell attributes to this phobia. I don't want my kids to EVER know what it's like to eat corn flakes with water 3 times a day in the summer. Or to look forward to going to school everyday because you knew that at least two hot meals were guaranteed. I don't want them to know what it feels like to never get a new pair of anything. Granted I LOVE hand me downs but I want them to get the feeling of opening a new pair of shoes or a new shirt. I love the fact that they have a nice home to live in. I love the fact that they both have tvs in their rooms. I think it really boils down to me wanting my children to have everything I didn't (and I don't just mean materials).
As far as I'm concerned, I think a lot of the things I do for me now are to make up for my desolate childhood. I get my hair fixed and nails done because I know how good it makes me feel JUST to be able to do it. Some folks may call me materialistic... I say whatever makes you happy is what you should do. Granted, I'm one bargain shopper when I do shop but I have no issue shopping (*cheese*). All in all, being a broke child, teenager, and hell young adult has taught me to work hard and never stop hustling. I've learned a lot in my 25 (plus a few) years on this earth and one of them is...
I'm scared of being BROKE!
Night!
There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting the best for your children. We all take things from our past & turn them into valuable lessons to apply to our current situation or even to our future....that's all you're doing & it's a very responsible thing to do. With the attitude, drive, and motivation that you have, I doubt you'll be broke! You're on the path to success & we both know it!
ReplyDeleteI have this phobia and I completely understand. When my money is funny my attitude is NASTY. I remain secluded in my house and I smoke black and milds, take bubble baths and take naps until I come up with a master plan to fix the situation. When I am in full peniaphobia mode, men quake. "Did you just call me and ask for some what?!?!?!?" Of course, I don't discuss my broketitude with them and they are baffled by the verbal ginsu slicing but I really can't control it. At that point, everything else is 15th in line.
ReplyDelete