Homeless = Worthless?

I'm quite perturbed by something I just witnessed downstairs in the cafe. A man who (for all intents and purposes) was homeless asked a guy if he'd buy him breakfast b/c he was hungry, etc. The guy (I assume) said no (which is his right..) and went on his merry way (or so I thought). I said to myself, "I'm going to buy this man breakfast b/c it's just the right thing to do." I'm the type of woman that blesses those who are less fortunate b/c I very well could end up in the same boat and I'd want someone to help me. Well before I could even ask if the man needed anything, the SECURITY guard shows up. Now if you're a frequent visitor to my blog, you know the security here is a joke. But I digress... Anyhow apparently the guy who was just SO appalled by this homeless man (and I don't mean a smelly, dirty, homeless person either...) asking him for a meal went down stairs to alert security of the 'threat' upstairs in the cafe. The security TEAM comes barging in and asks the man "can we help you with something?" (I'm thinking...no shit Sherlock, the man is starving...of course you can help) The man says "no, I'm waiting on my friend." A woman steps out front and says "Yeah right, we heard you were up here begging for money and we can't have you threatening our people." (I frown...like are they serious?!?! To make matters worse, they are attempting to embarrass this man as if asking for someone to buy him a meal isn't enough) The man says "No ma'am I'm waiting on my friend...he works here." (I'm thinking, God I hope you send him a friend b/c if not they are going to really try and do something to this homeless man...God is good though...) The woman asks "Where is this friend?" (as if to say...you're a liar...and you know it) The man points, "Right there..." he says. Sure enough a guy finishes his transaction and comes over to where they are making this huge unnecessary scene and the posse asks, "Do you know this *insert pause and up and down look here* man?" The friend answers "Well no, but he was in need of breakfast so I offered to buy it for him." The woman says "Well sir, that's nice and all *all while her face is all scrunched up* but you can't feed these people here...b/c if you do, they'll come back like animals. You know how if you feed a stray dog they show up the next day? Kinda like that." (By now I'm near tears b/c I can't believe how this woman is tearing this already torn down man even further down) The friend answers "Well I'll take my chances. It's a shame how some people have no regard for another human being." He then takes the homeless man by the arm and leads him to the grill where he proceeds to order...God must know me and my big mouth really well b/c he put ME and the Security Posse in the elevator together on the way down. I can be a real asshole when I need to be, so I pick up my phone to call my imaginary friend and I say "You know...I just witnessed the most disgusting shit I've ever encountered in my life." I said, "It's funny how people get a job making $10 per hour and lose all sense of decency. It's people who are one paycheck from living on the streets who adopt this elitist 'I'm better than you' demeanor." I said, "I'd sure hate to see what would happen if someone ELSE lost THEIR job." I proceed to tell my fake phone callee the story while the posse (mainly the ring leader) squirms. I'm sure they are thinking, "dammit can we get to the lobby please!???!" I didn't care...and it probably wasn't the right way to handle it, but I was hurting FOR that man.

Now, I know the guards have a job to do (and I say that shit loosely) and I'm in no way disputing the fact that they had to at least confront the man b/c he DID break a city ordinance. (or whatever) My issue lies with the WAY it was done. Why do people think that homeless = beneath you? I mean I get irritated when I'm being harassed by a homeless person who calls me a bitch b/c I REALLY don't have the $0.75 they need. Or I see the homeless person I gave a few dollars to walk into the store and come out with a beer. That shit frustrates me too...but that doesn't make me any better than they are? Seriously... People better wake up and realize that:

1. Just b/c you have a job today...doesn't mean you'll have one tomorrow. What does that mean? Just b/c you have a roof over your head and food in the cupboards...doesn't mean it'll be there next week.

2. You NEVER know who you can bless...if you see a mother sitting on a bench with her kids, don't walk by with your nose turned up when she asks you to pray for her or for help. For those of you who know God, you know His power. They very well could be sent by God JUST to see if you practice what you preach. I firmly believe in making room for bigger blessings...and when you bless someone watch it come RIGHT back to you. It works the other way too...you step on someone when they are down...watch it come RIGHT back to you.

I'm guilty of some of the things above, but today made me really realize just how blessed I am and how much more I can help other people. If I can go out and spend $100 on ONE meal, surely I can spare $1 to donate to a homeless shelter. If I can cook enough food for 12 people when only 4 are in my home...surely I can get my butt outta the bed on the weekends and feed other people. *sigh* Let's really put into practice what this season is about people...it really IS better to give than to receive.

G'Day Folks,

Lady Doss

Crabs...

Well I'm taking someone's advice and blogging about some things that have been irritating me lately. Here lately my co worker has really been making me want to just politely push her out of a window. (to the FBI...if you're reading this..I'm not seriously going to push her, it's merely a statement of frustration) Anyhow...I just...she just...I just...wow she just irks me SO bad. One, she has a -600 score on the people skills meter. She just DOES NOT know how to talk to people. She's had hmm...5 or so assistants in the year that I've been here and they all throw their hands up and quit. Why? because she doesn't know how to talk to folks. The funny thing is...I can't understand why I even give a damn, b/c I told her the FIRST time she came at me sideways that my name wasn't Fido and I didn't live in her backyard tied to a tree. In other words, I'm not a dog and I don't take commands and shit. Since then she either doesn't say anything to me at all or grins and grits her teeth when she has to talk to me. Whatever works... *shrug*

So...what made me so upset that day? Well we are launching a huge tour for one of our clients and for some reason (which I will reveal in a second) she wants to do all the work herself. If you don't know anything about a tour you'd be like...well shit let her, but this client is on the verge of leaving the firm so we have to make sure their stuff is in TOP TOP shape. One person working on the tour is asking for a disaster. What if she makes a mistake? What if she gets hit by a car on her way to work and can't explain how to do something from her hospital bed? I mean...that's kinda far fetched but the theory remains the same. My boss comes to me and says "Lady Doss...I need you to help *Katrina* with this tour. She'll tell you she doesn't need any help but I know she does. She's drowning in there." I say "ok...cool." I go into her office for 5 days straight and ask if there is anything I can do. She says no I got it...ok fine. All the while, my boss is screaming on me to help her b/c she needs help. After about a week of hearing this ridiculous shit I finally say "Look *Steven* I know *Katrina* needs help...you know *Katrina* needs help...but *Katrina* seems to think she doesn't need help. Now I've asked...5 times even...and that's about all I can do. I'm not going to go into her office and demand she let me help her. I'm sorry...that's on you. Your name is on the door." I guess he takes my advice b/c he asks me to transfer him to her. Of course I can't hear what he's saying but I hear her say..."yes she's asked...but all she says is ok when I tell her no" I guess he says something else and she goes "well she gets an attitude when I tell her no repeatedly...and I don't want to deal with attitude." I'm thinking to myself "is this bitch serious?" THAT pisses me off to the point where I go in and tell her..."no the issue isn't about you not needing help nor is it about my 'attitude' it's about you thinking that if I help you I may just do it better than you and we all know what that would lead to right?" I said "and furthermore...I just want you to know that I don't WANT your lil job honey b/c if I did I'd have it. I'm ONLY trying to help you out...nothing more..nothing less. If we lose this client we all can pack up and go the hell home."

She sat there and blinked...I guess my point was well taken.

I DO have some questions though...I'm sure no one knows the REAL answer but hey maybe you've been thinking the same things I have. Why in the hell do people rake leaves? I mean I could understand raking them when all of the leaves fall off the trees in their yard but don't you think you're creating a lot of work for yourself raking them mugs once a week? I mean Fall lasts for quite a few weeks. It seems like you'd let the leaves FALL then rake them up. I understand the well manicured look...but damn.

I'll humor you with more later...as for now. I've got some Lance white cheddar cheese popcorn waiting on me.

G'Day folks!

Lady Doss

I like my bacon limp...dammit.

I'm kinda perturbed that the cook downstairs doesn't understand simple breakfast terms. For example "I'd like my eggs scrambled" seems to confuse the shit out of him. Today I decided to make it EASY on him and just get three strips of limp bacon. This lil faggot stares at me like "what the fuck is that?" and proceeds to pick up the crispiest bacon in the pan. I said noo...limp...and flipped my wrist (since I knew he'd understand that shit). Low and behold...he goes OOOOH and picks up the bacon I want. I'm like for real? Goodness.

Oh and I do think I need to start all over learning to walk...for the second time this week I've nearly busted my ass walking from the train station to work. On Monday I was rocking my fierce red boots but it was kinda windy and a little wet out so I was being extra careful (or so I thought). A gust of wind came through and I started sliding down the sidewalk like I was skiing or some shit. Now it would have been easy to catch my balance, but I had my laptop bag on one shoulder. Purse on the other...and holding my cup of tea. I looked like...I don't even know what I looked like screaming and flailing trying to catch my balance. People were looking...probably laughing...the whole 9. Praise balance beam Jesus I didn't fall though. I tell you what...I refused to turn around and look back, I damn near ran into my building.

THEN today...I'm fierce again but I have on my black stiletto style knee boots and some jeans...I'm like Kanye "you can't tell me nothin" till I start damn sliding again. This time though...people are looking, pointing, and shit...I look back to pretend like I slid on something and say "ya'll better be careful, it's a little slick right there" and try to run into my building again. Now either I can't walk in heels or the "you gonna bust your ass" demon is out to get me. I'm scared as hell to walk to GSU to get my December Marta card. My damn luck I'll fall slap in the middle of Peachtree. *frown*

Since the semester is practically over...I'll have more time to blog. So get ready to rumble (or tumble in my case).

G'Day Folks!

Lady Doss

*SIGH*

I'm awake...the end.

Ok maybe not...I took a Vicodin and I feel like a junkie or something. This was at 9 PM. My mind is racing and it feels like shit is crawling on me. I keep scratching and carrying on like a crack head. THEN Syd has been crying since 1. I went in her room and sat with her, she slept for 20 minutes and was up screaming again. I woke back up to her yelling "stop it..." and "shut up..." to someone or something. I went BACK in to look around, nothing. She was still crying with me in the room so I brought her in here to sleep with us. She slept for 20 minutes, back up crying. She got out of our bed and went in her brother's room...then downstairs. So of course I get up again. I Pick her up and take her back in her room. I lay her down...she goes right back to sleep...for about 3 minutes. I turn on her lamp...still crying...the tv...still crying...I just gave up and shut her door and ours to let her cry it out. I think she's having nightmares but mommy can't stop them and she's not wanting to be receptive to my soothing methods. Lord tomorrow (today) is going to be a long day...

To be continued...

Lady Doss

Take your smoke on with you...

Why is that people who smoke think everyone else wants a hit too? I mean really? Do you just HAVE to stand in the walkways, doorways, and every other high traffic area while you're committing suicide? I can't stand walking down the sidewalk behind someone that's puffing a Newport b/c they seem to always blow the smoke backwards and flick the ashes over their shoulder. I mean shit. I think people who smoke should have ONE area where they all hang out and do their thing. Kinda like assisted suicide. Ok I'm being harsh but isn't that essentially what you do when you smoke? I mean doesn't it like kill you over time? Excuse my ignorance but I'm no smoker... I'm sure I'll piss some 3 pack a day, yellow teeth having, foul breath smelling smoker off, but where would the world be without me? :)

Anyhow, I had an emergency root canal yesterday and boy was THAT a blast!!!! <--sarcasm I was sitting in my office minding my own business when my receptionist buzzed me saying "Your dentist is on 1..." I pick up and she says, Lady D if you can come on down to the office we'll go ahead and get you out of that pain. I thought about it for a minute and said eff this, I'm on my way. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and the tooth no longer hurts but I swear my jaw aches like I did a two for one head special on Ponce last night. I don't know how the 'tutes do it. Goodness. How about though...the oral surgeon (or whatever he was) wrote me a prescription for some damn Advil. What in the hell kind of shit is that? Advil? You just banged around in my mouth for 1.5 hours and you've warned me that I'll feel like I got hit in the face by Ali but you are giving me some Advil? Pish! I called my dentist and told him and they were like oh no honey, come down and get a prescription for some real pain medication. I did...and I slept quite nicely thanks to the vicodin last night. My jaw still hurts but since I'm at work I'll have to suffer. I took two Aleve and they laughed at the pain when they arrived there. They said "naw we can't deal..." and left. So yeah...I'll be in pain until I get home.

SPEAKING of prescriptions. Someone help me out here...does it take a whole lot of skill to fill one? I mean I thought it was a matter of counting 1 2 3 4... and putting them shits in the bottle? What TAKES them so long? I mean I know they have to verify benefits and print the labels but 2 hours?!?!?! So I drop of my prescription at WalGreen's last night at around...ehhh 6P. She says "these'll be ready in about 30 minutes." I say, well ok since it's only 30 minutes we'll run to Publix and Chick Fil A right quick. We get back to WalGreens to pick it up and this heifer says "It'll be another 30-45 minutes." I'm in pain so all I can do is chuckle and leave. I go back at 8:15 (yes that's two point five hours after I left it to begin with) and the SAME girl says "It's not ready yet..." I guess the look on her face said it all b/c she said "but I'll fill it now." Then she yells back..."what did ya'll do with that Doss prescription..I can't find it!" By now I'm about ready to hop OVER the counter and fill my own shit...another 20 minute wait and they are ready...oh but let me tell you what happened while I was waiting (LMAO already).

This nice looking 'older' lady comes up to the counter...and says "I'd like to have this filled please..." The clerk says "have you ever been here before" she says "I don't remember" she says "can I have your name please" The woman just stands there with a blank look on her face...and of course this is when I perk up b/c I'm like now I KNOW she didn't forget her name. So anyway, the woman leans all close and gives her A name...the clerk starts to look it up, and that's apparently not in the system. The clerk asks her if she's sure that's her name...she says "Well it's my maiden name, here's my married name..." That one works, then the clerk says "Date of birth?" Another blank look comes from the woman and then she proceeds to start rumbling through her purse...the clerk says "5-4-47?" the woman gasps and says "I didn't want everyone around me to hear that..." the clerk is like "well oh, anyway...is that correct?" I damn near died laughing. The lady says yes...the clerk says "insurance information?" she says "I left my card at the office but here is the information they gave me" the clerk says "no that wont work..." then this dumb woman who didn't want anyone to know her name or birthday says "Well here is my social...111-11-1111." Ummm....is she serious?!?!? Apparently she is and everyone around me caught the joke...including the clerk. We all chuckled...I don't know how that turned out b/c my meds were FINALLY available and I ran the hell up outta there. It WAS funny though. LOL

Anyhow....G'Day Folks!

Lady Doss

*sings* Walk on byyyyyyy....

I'm convinced...I walk too damned fast. I swear everywhere I go I'm plowing over people b/c they are walking slower than I am. I don't know if it's that I have a longer stride or what but I just walk too damned fast. I've tried not to do it, but I just can't...and get this!?! It's always the larger people poking around. If anything I'd be trying to put some pep in my overweight step to increase my life span but nope...not them. I mean I'm not downing fat people b/c I clearly have the potential to be overweight my damn self (especially eating burgers and 6 wings with fries and a coke for lunch twice a week) but shit. I mean speed the hell up or MOVE. Which brings me to another thing...why do people walk down the middle of the sidewalk?!? What pleasure is there in that? There HAS to be b/c there is no reason on this green Earth that you would walk down the middle of the sidewalk that you clearly have to share at 4SPH (steps per hour... LOL). The courteous thing to do would be to just MOVE to the left, right, hell even in the street...just OUT of my way!!!!

*vent over*

So I FINALLY registered my car (yeah the one I purchased in August) about two weeks ago. I thought I was going to go bald fooling around with Nissan South and the state of GA. These two had me running back and forth for damn near two months trying to REGISTER a vehicle. I'm like, ok I'm TRYING to do the right thing and not drive my car around without tags but ya'll are pushing it. I'm TRYING to give you the tax monies I owe, etc but you can't get your shit together. It went from the state telling me "We never got anything from them" toNissan telling me "Yes we mailed your paperwork on blah blah date and blah blah signed for it..." back to the state saying "Oh wait we got it but returned it due to an error on the title..." to Nissan saying "No they didn't..." to the state saying "Yes we did..." to Nissan saying "Oh wait yes they did...we already sent it back in...but I can't tell you who did it or when it was done." I was sure I was going to lose my mind. SURE of it. The license plate I wanted wasn't available (I wanted Gr8ful - which means...DUH Grateful. The reason I chose the 8 instead of letters is b/c 8 symbolizes new beginnings thus making me grateful for the new beginnings in my life...). I had to choose Gra8ful instead...which to me is kinda redundant, but you get the point I'm trying to make. *shrug*

Oh yeah, I've been wondering THIS for a very long time...why is it that people who work with people have the worst people skills on the planet? Has anyone ever noticed that? Please tell me I'm not the only one. For example, every time I call AmeriBistro to order lunch the lil girl acts like it's physically hurting her to take my order. She gets to sighing and smacking her lips and carrying on...one day I just asked, "Do you not want to be there? I mean you could always go home you know..." I don't know if she took me literally but I went to pick up my food and her ass was no longer there. Either she took the hint or her shift ended. Either way I was happy she was gone...until I encountered her equally pained co worker. I was like, well damn. LOL Oh and don't you hate it when you encounter rude people but there's not much you can do about it? For example, rude flight attendants or TSA agents (or does the A in TSA mean agent...anyhow). I mean it's not like you can complain while in flight or in security line. They'll have your ass in a holding cell in 6 seconds if you do. You'll be labeled a threat or terrorist and wham...your option to travel by air is gone. I hate that this is the world we live in...it's almost as if you kinda have constitutional rights (not saying rude people are in violation of the constitution, although they should be...lol) and then sometimes you kinda don't.

Oh well, I'm tired of typing (even though I have more to add)...later folks

Lady Doss

So yeah...

It's been a MINUTE since I blogged. I actually don't think I've blogged since school started. So I guess I'll start at what's been happening since mid August. Hmmm...

Well class. Class is kicking my ass, I wont even lie to you. It's not that the material is hard b/c it isn't. As a matter of fact all of my classes cover the same shit, it's just that either my old age is getting to me or I'm as dumb as a box of rocks. I go into a test thinking "Oh I'm about to ace this one..." and get my paper back with 70's and stuff. That aint ME! Everyone keeps saying, "you were out of school for a few years...you're rusty" or "You expect too much of yourself...a B is not that bad." Ok well maybe you're right...it has been a few years and B's aren't failing...but shit now. If I'm going to study for hours on end, attend class, take good notes, and so on...I shouldn't be making 72's on tests and such...that just don't add up. OH and THEN there are some people in some of my classes who need a hefty dose of 'shut the fu*k up', seriously. Like I understand wanting to contribute to the discussion, but if you are just going to 1. repeat what the instructor JUST said in different words or 2. contribute something that hasn't a damn thing to do with what we are discussing...just save it for the convo you'll have with yourself later. I can see the frustration in the instructor's eyes when they have to listen to some idiot babble on and on about how their dog did such and such when we are discussing crime trends in the inner city. I mean to be fair they can't tell them to hush...but wooooooooSaH! That reminds me...why do people raise their hands and once called on say "I was going to say..." before they say what they were going to say? Was that NOT a waste of every one's time AND your energy? We KNOW you were going to say it b/c guess what Einstein you JUST did!

On to family life. I don't know if it's just me or not...but here lately I've just been wanting to RUN and hide in a closet. Terrible twos are just that...I swear my daughter just turned into a little monster over night. She throws things, hits her brother, tells us no, gets into things you wouldn't think anyone would be interested in, and the list goes on. For example, (and this is gross but hey...) we put her to bed one night under the impression that she was GOING to BED. Hubby goes in to check on her about an hour later...and I kid you not, this child is sitting in her recliner diaperless with shit in her hand. After a brief investigation, turns out instead of saying "potty" she took her diaper off and wanted to see just exactly what that stuff was. It was the funniest thing (in hindsight) b/c D got out of bed and just went crazy. He swore she was eating it, and I told him there was no way a child of mine was eating shit. Just no way...so I'm laying in the bed listening to him scold her and it's cracking me up b/c he's saying "No baby you don't eat boo boo! Do you hear me? DO.NOT. TOUCH. BOO BOO! That's ew ew, okaaaay?!?!" I swear I lost 2 pounds from laughing. I mean it wasn't funny...but still. LMAO

Now my son...is what almost 10 months old and a bully already. The boy will just TAKE whatever it is that he wants. For example, if my daughter is eating chicken...HE is gonna eat chicken. If she wont willingly give him a piece, he takes it. It's the funniest thing to watch and she gets so frustrated when he comes and just bogarts his way into her plate. Oh and he will fuss too! He can't form not one word but will go clean off on you. I told hubby that he is the one I'm going to have to knock out a couple times b/c he's already telling me what he thinks. Woosah...again and again.

I'm still at the same job...laughing at the same people and the same antics. I actually enjoy laughing at these people for the most part. The only time I'm really irritated is when I think someone is doing someone else unfairly. Speaking of which...why did we go through 4 (FOUR) receptionists in one week. I kid you not, they would come in one day and quit the next, it was hilarious. No one could understand why they wouldn't come back. So you know me and my big mouth... I said, "well I wouldn't necessarily come back either...to be honest with you." No one asked why, I never volunteered it.

Anyhow, I hope this semi catches you up to Lady D...if not, well just ask. LOL

G'Day folks!

Lady Doss

Fighting the wrong battle

You know, I beginning to think that we, as Americans are going after the wrong people (well that's obvious with this war, but just hear me out...). Have you noticed how much the Chinese have been in the news lately for shipping us bad meat, toys, doggy biscuits, etc? I honestly believe that China is going to take us out and no one even see it coming. I mean nowadays you can't even brush your teeth without worrying that something is 'in' your paste. The whole Mattel thing really got me thinking because I have children. My thought process was "hmm...if they poison the young kids, who will be left to run the US in 20 years?" Far fetched? Sure it is, but it still makes me go hmmm... Do I think it's a huge coincidence that most of the defective (for lack of a better word) comes from China? Not really...There are some really bad people in the world (not confirming that's what I think of the Chinese) and I'm sure SOMEBODY has a motive. I wouldn't be surprised if we woke up one day and there was a bio-terror alert flashing across my tv screen on account of some development in China that can kill 1000 Americans in 2 minutes. (I watch too much 24...) Speaking of 24, I think THEY are on to something too. Have you noticed that they are focusing on the Chinese and their potential 'take down' of the US? I sure hope we have a real life Jack Bauer somewhere just in case...cause if not, we're all screwed. MAJORLY even. At any rate this is all just one of my many conspiracy theories which probably isn't true...but hey. LOL

So anyway, I'm driving to the train station the other morning when I notice a new 'business' in the West End area. I'm not surprised it's a hair salon, but what DOES surprise me is the damn name of the salon. It's called "Delores" hair weeving (I changed the name to protect the owner who obviously can't spell worth a damn...even with the free spell check capabilities out there) complete with a sign that says "Stop here for all your hair weeving needs." Now, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe...JUST maybe they meant to spell it that way for marketing and advertising reasons to reach the 'clientele' of the area. (I mean b/c it's no surprise that a lot of the people walking around the West End aren't the most literate people in the world) Maybe their thought process was like "If they can sound it out...they'll come" *shrug*
Well I have a TON of work to do...and a class at 11 so I'll be back...one day. LOL

G'Day folks!

Lady Doss(*who is now 25 and loving it*)

P.S. This blog was in no way written to offend any of my Asian counterparts...nor am I responsible for the grammtAcal and speEling errors in this blog *giggle*

So umm yeah...

It's been a few weeks since I've blogged and it's mainly b/c I just haven't had time. (Or no...I just haven't MADE time, it's not like I've been doing much of anything anyhow) You know how I'm always 'wondering' things about people? Well umm yeah today I started to wonder just what makes people do the things they do. For example, what makes someone come stand DIRECTLY in front of you on the train platform? What do they think you're standing there for...the rapture? I mean aren't we ALL standing there waiting on the same result...a train? What makes them think "Ok I'll come stand right in front of her even though she was there first and waiting on the same train I am?" Sheesh :-/

Another thing... what makes people damn near run you over to get to the elevator? I mean I (stress I) was the one who pushed the call button in the first place...shouldn't I (stress I) have first dibs on getting on the elevator. I mean... Sheesh :-/

Oh...while we're on the subject of elevators. What makes people stand DIRECTLY in front of the door(s) and wait? Does it not cross their mind that "Hmmm, there MAY be someone actually getting OFF this thing before I get on?" I think I may just scream if I get plowed over by some nitwit trying to get on before I can get off. Sheesh :-/

(This is a funny one...) I remember one morning, I was so deep in thought that I got ON the elevator and never pushed a button. I had no idea I wasn't moving until I heard "DING" and the doors opened only to reveal the lobby of my building. To make matters worse, two men got on and one said "Just riding the elevator huh?" I wanted to dissolve right then and there. LMAO!

So, what's been going on in Lady Doss' world over the last few weeks? A lot! Church has had me extremely busy (being that I'm on the praise and worship team) and there have been weeks where I had to pull 5 day shifts at the house of the Lord. Now, don't get me wrong, I love me some Jesus and I thank God for the gift he gave to me, but woosah sometimes...WOOsah! I was going to participate in the dance ministry but I decided not to for two reasons. The most important being, I just didn't want to over do it. I needed to cut something out so I let that one go. Secondly, I went to one rehearsal and had the gas face the whole time. NOT b/c of the talent level but b/c I just couldn't deal with all the talking, giggling, playing, etc. I could see if these were pre teens but these were GROWN women! (It may also have to do with the fact that I can be rather uptight, but hey...it's me! Love it or hate it...) With that being said...I need to take those $50 shoes I got for dance BACK! OH yeah! School starts on my 25th birthday...and for some reason that's symbolic for me. Most say 25 starts a new chapter of life and how fitting that I start classes on that day as well. I'm so determined to get that 4.0 I can't stand it! Pray for me people...

I would go on, but I decided that I was actually going to work today b/c I want to take the day off tomorrow. (Gotta have the house spotless for mother in laws visit) :)

G'day folks!

Lady Doss

Oh the IRONY of it all...

Yesterday my boss made a statement that nearly made me choke on the air I was breathing. He had the audacity to be upset about some boxes of paper that were not shredded. His exact words were:

"I was so embarrassed to let _____ walk back here and see this sh*t. Our professionalism is under a scope right now. It's seriously being questioned. Shred this fu*kin paper by the end of the day if you have to do the sh*t yourself. *looks at empty boxes* and what the fu*k is this sh*t? Get this sh*t outta HERE!"

I was like DUDE are you serious? You just used every curse word known to man and then you say 'our' professionalism is being questioned. DUH! Are you surprised that folks are starting to question your professionalism? I want him to really THINK about what he said. b/c there is no way he can't understand it. NO way at all. If'n I was on the outside lookin in I'd think this place was as professional as a roach hotel. *frown* (and even they have their stuff together) Sometimes I really can't believe the stuff that goes on here. Here's a hint... PAY THE PEOPLE YOU OWE, DO THE THINGS YOU SAY, & STOP BEING SO UBBER GHETTO AND YOU MAY GET ONE POINT BACK UNDER THE PROFESSIONALISM CATEGORY. OKKKAAAAYYY!?!?!?!?!?!?!

***MOVING ON***

Today, I just have to thank God for who I've become. I've really been able to dismiss somethings and move on and it feels good. Granted, I'm still a work in progress but I'm better than I used to be, and that's all that matters. I'm ok with slow progression as long as I'm moving forward. It kinda reminds me of Kirk Franklin's song "Imagine Me" where he says:


This song is dedicated to people like me, those that struggle with insecurities, acceptance and even self esteem, you never felt good enough, you never felt pretty enough but imagine God whispering in your ear letting you know that everything that has happened is now.

Gone, Gone, Its’ Gone, All Gone


It’s All Gone. Every Sin, Every Mistake, Every Failure Its’ All Gone!
Depression Gone By Faith It’s Gone
Low Self Esteem, Hallelujah Its Gone, All Gone,
It’s Gone All My Scars All My Pain It’s In The Past , Its’ Yesterday Its’ All Gone Can’t Believe Its’ Gone What Your Mother Did, What your Father Did, Hallelujah Its’ Gone All Gone

That song really made me believe that I already knew to be true. Now that I believe that it's all gone I have been living life to the fullest and taking advantage of every opportunity given to me. For those of you that know me...you know that friendly (to strangers) isn't really in my vocabulary (or wasn't) but now I find myself being happy for no other reason than I woke up that morning. I find myself telling people to have a blessed day when they act foolish towards me. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not a convert (complete) b/c I will straight snap if'n I need to. For example we have two printers and one has MICR'd ink in it (the kind of ink checks are printed with) the general rule is we ONLY print checks on this printer b/c the ink is too expensive to print just regular jobs on it. Well my checks are different from everyone else's so I have to put my checks in the printer every time I get ready to print some. Well lately I've been leaving them in the tray b/c my program only will pull from the tray that I put them in (the only other thing that pulls from that tray is if you print something regular). Low and behold my co worker's lazy a*s wont change the printer so that it prints on the right printer. Well the other day he printed something and quite naturally it printed on my check paper. He said you shouldn't leave checks right here, I said you shouldn't print on this printer. He huffed and walked out. Yesterday he did the very same thing and said "Why do you leave these checks in here?" I said "Why do you constantly print things to the top printer when you know you aren't supposed to? Lazy much?" He said "F you" and stormed out. LOL (that wasn't quite a snap but you know what I mean)

Speaking of co workers...why did one of them decide to tell me about her sexcapade? I mean I'm open to listen to anything you have to say but the visual made me sick. I'm sure my face told the story of what my mind was screaming...and I'm genuinely sorry, but I was grossed the hell out. Seriously. Jesus take HER wheel and drive her anywhere by my office the next time she feels the sharing spirit.

Speaking of spirit. Thank GOD for the nursery ministry at church. The nursery wasn't open (I assume) at church on Wednesday and being in the sanctuary with two kids is about an sensible is driving backwards down 1-285 in the dark with no head or tail lights. I heard NOT a word the Pastor said b/c my son was sleepy...and you know how babies are when they are sleepy. They do anything BUT go to sleep. He wanted to play roll fan dance sing talk whine coo cry eat and so one and so forth. Then my daughter wanted to talk throw things stand up when it was time to sit down sit down when it was time to stand up and so on and so forth. I was so frustrated by the end of service I thought I would jump. I told hubby that if the nursery isn't open then we may as well go back home b/c I can't deal. It was so pointless being at church Wednesday. Anyhow...I've blabbed enough...

G'day folks

Lady Doss

So Fresh and So Crisp Crisp

So in an effort to appear more crisp I've been stepping my game up this week. I've work heels every day this week AND I've worn my makeup as well. Believe THAT or not. It's funny how the people you don't think notice you, actually do. For example the elevator maintenance man, Dante said to me on Wednesday "You sure have been glowing this week!" I took that as a compliment and said "Thanks." As I walked off I thought to myself, I never even knew he realized I walked this same path every day. I mean I speak to him and the crew every now and again but wow. Then yesterday I was on my way to pick up lunch for everyone that ordered out (how nice of me :-/)...

WAIT, let me harp on THAT for a second! As a courtesy I sometimes ask if anyone wants to order food from the place I normally order lunch from. I don't mind picking up their food and bringing it back...I mean after all I AM going to the same place. HOWEVER, some people take it too damn far. So yesterday I'm asking around if anyone wants to order anything and taking orders. All of a sudden (as I'm walking out of the door no less) I hear "Wait! Since you're going out can you stop at Taco Bell and get me something?" In my mind I'm thinking "Big bitch did I announce that I was going to Taco Bell? NO!" Instead I say, "umm hell naw I'm not going to Taco Bell" she says"but it's right around the corner..." I say (and Lord knows I didn't think about how this would sound before I said it) "why don't you go..it's a pretty day out and exercise is good for you..." I don't know if she was offended or defeated but she just said 'ok' and I left. My thing is...do I LOOK like I work for Lunch Delivery, Inc? Seriously..and furthermore, she never asks me if she can being me something back when she goes out for lunch. BP!

Anyway! Like I was saying yesterday I was on my way to pick up lunch for everyone that ordered out and on my way I was asked my a homeless guy if he could carry the box for me (a little background when we order out I usually take a box with me so that carrying the food back is easier. Which means on my way to the place the box is EMPTY). In my disbelief I chuckle and say "Dude it's EMPTY. Do better..." You're probably thinking wow that's crazy...but it gets worse. On my way back I get stopped again by another man (this time I'm obviously carrying a box full of something) who says "Scuse me baby...can I carry that box for you?" I roll my eyes b/c I'm thinking he can NOT be serious...after all he's at least 65, damn near crippled, and walks with a cane. I say to myself..."Self...humor me" and that's exactly what I do...I raise my brow and say "You're (I stress that word) going to carry this (I stress this word too) box for me (my last stressed word)? He says *trying to sound sexy no less* "Yeahhhhh" I say "cane and all huh?" He's like "I only use this cane b/c I have a busted up knee, you got jokes don't you?" I say "no, I just wanted to know that God was still in the miracle working business b/c that's what it's going to take for you to carry this box." He replies that I'm a "feisty cat" and my husband is lucky to have a 'sweet thang' like me...I walk off, but not before I thank him for the laugh. *smh* Only in Atlanta, ONLY in Atlanta.

Also, earlier this week I was on the train going home when the train stopped , I thought "Lord what is going on with Marta NOW?" As if the train operator could read my mind he says "Ladies and gentlemen this train will move momentarily, the MARTA police are looking for a lost child." Immediately I say... "now how the hell do you LOSE a child on the train? Someone needs their parent license revoked...uggh" After about 7 or so minutes the train begins to move again...either they found the child or said eff it and stopped looking...either way I was astonished and amazed that someone could LOSE their child on the damn train. I wish I MIGHT get on the train without a tight grip on my kids!

There's more to tell...but I've got a caffeine headache. I may finish up later.

G'day folks!

Lady Doss

Sooo...

I'd planned to blog about my thoughts on the end of the world in regards to all the wildfires, murders, floods, etc but I'll be damned if I didn't come into work today and our phone is disconnected AGAIN! Now seriously...the last time it got shut off there was someone to blame (not really, but he was there so they used him) but NOW the only person left holding the bag is the person who is responsible for the bag, period. If I never knew before, I know now..I've got to get the hell outta dodge. This place is well on it's way to bankruptcy. What's funny is, I kinda want to stick around to watch it unfold. That's so ignorant...but who doesn't want (whether they admit it or not) their daily dose of ignorance.

Speaking of ignorance...there was a guy in the train terminal begging for change. I didn't have anything to give him (and he looked legitimately hungry) so I shrugged as to say "I'm sorry, I don't have any cash" and kept going. Apparently the person behind me wasn't so nice about it and said something smart (I didn't hear it) and the homeless (I presume) guy went clean off. He was like "Man all you have to do is say no and keep it moving! You didn't have to say all that! Why would you talk to me like that?" and blah blah blah...I felt bad for the guy (really I did...but it still didn't negate the fact that I didn't have anything to offer him). I wonder why folks are always so mean to homeless people (me included). I think I just have a low tolerance for EVERYBODY. Seriously...

*LMAO #@ myself...I forgot that fast that the phone was off and hit my speaker button to make a call*

Anyhow, today is National AIDS Awareness...or something to that effect day. They are offering free testing all over the US (I think) but I'll be willing to bet most people wont take advantage b/c they are sure they are "clean" etc. I'm looking for the closest place to go get tested...not b/c I'm doing this I shouldn't...but I wasn't saved ALL my life either. People it's important to know your status whether you are hetero homo married single or divorced. Remember how they used to say that one drop of black blood made you a ni**er? The same holds true...one drop of infected body fluid and you're officially infected. That's ALL it takes people...be smart and take advantage of the opportunities awarded to you. I hate to sound all motherish, but there are people in Africa who would kill at the chance to be tested and get treatment (if they are infected).

*jumps off soapbox*

G'Day folks!

Lady Doss


*Oh and don't try and call me at work...bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!*

Deer.

Ok so you know I'm afraid (like seriously) of deer right...WHY did I see one of them bastards on the way home from church tonight? I swear I lost all the Jesus I had when I saw that thing. He was on his way out into the street and I nearly killed myself trying to make sure he saw me coming. I was flashing lights and blowing the horn. I screamed every variation of curse words known to man and then when I was done with that I screamed my hubby's name...over and over. He turned around and ran off but I was pissed the heck off. What in the world do you need on the other side of the damn street? Aint a damn thing over there but houses! I really wish they would just stay in the house somewhere...ugh.

I can't believe how tense I get just thinking about one of them things. When we are driving my pupils are all dilated and my jaw muscles tighten. There is a stretch of road where I just can't take it...I swear I feel like I'm having a breakdown for fear that a deer is going to jump out at me. As much as I tell Jesus to take other folk's wheels I shoulda asked him to take mine...cause I nearly lost it.

I can't deal...

G'Night folks!

Lady Doss

Decisions...Decisions

Well as I'm sure most everyone in the world knows...I hate my place of employment. My actual job I can deal with, it's just too much sometimes to deal with my co workers and and such. Here's my dilemma. I've been complaining about my pay and wanting a more professional place to work for some time now and that opportunity has presented itself (twice actually). I've been contacted about two positions, one that pays 7K more than this one and the other that pays 8K more than this one. There are benefits to both positions...I'll list them:

Position 1:
*More pay( which is always a good thing)
*Better hours
*The area of accounting I really like (forensic)

**Downside** It's located in Marietta which means a drive (b/c public transportation -IE: the train) doesn't go anywhere near there. I could always take the bus from the nearest train station but that would be a LOT of work.

Position 2:
*More pay (which is always a good thing)
*Better hours
*It's in a law firm (it's still an accounting position but we all know I am headed to law school and the networking opps could be enormous)
*It's located in Midtown (which is right on the MARTA line-meaning no driving and/or parking to deal with)

**Downside** Hmm...none that I can really think of besides the one (biggy) that I'm about to name.

Now, you may say...well shoot Lady D that's an easy decision just go with position 2. Yeah if only it were that easy. Here's the biggy...the job I'm in now is allowing me to make my own hours around my classes this Fall. If I take a new job I may(or may not) get that luxury and will be forced to take evening classes (which don't bother me THAT much...only hubby is trying to take classes in the Spring). My only other option is to ask for a $7500 raise and I hope I get it. It doesn't seem THAT far fetched b/c I spoke to one of the partners about it yesterday and he said that there was no way he was losing me over a measly $7K. If they were to give me the raise I'd honestly stick around and continue to ignore them everyday (until I finished w/ school). I mean after all where else can you work making that kind of money, make your own hours, and go to school? (No where else except Magic City)

I'm still praying about it...b/c I know God will work it out no matter what. (That still doesn't stop me from soliciting opinions just to see what people think.

G'Day folks!

Lady Doss

*sigh*

I think I'm becoming closer to my mother in law and not so close to my own mother. Now don't get me wrong, I love my mother and would never write her off or any of that foolishness (after all she DID give birth to me). At any rate I really need to do some soul searching (if that's the right term) and figure out if I've really forgiven her for my childhood. In some strange way I blame her for a lot of the mistakes I've made as an adult. I don't subscribe to the "do as I say, not as I do theory" that was forced (unsuccessfully) upon me as a child. Another thing that has really 'turned me off' (for lack of a better phrase) is a new revelation concerning my brother...it goes back to the 'do as I say, not as I do' theory that I thought was long gone out of the window. My mother in law has made sacrifices from day 1 of my husband and my marriage and it kind of irritates me when my mother (and side of the family) doesn't step up to the plate and offer the same. There have been times when we really needed family support and my side of the family has promised to be there and never came through...my mother in law, being the person she is, will pick up their slack and take the situation into her own hands. She breaks her neck, back, AND the bank to see her grandchildren and make sure that we, as a family unit, remain that way. I just don't feel that from my side of the family. It's come to the point where I just don't want to be bothered anymore. I want to know that all is well with my family is South Carolina but that's about it. As long as everyone is alive and well, I'm fine without having a conversation with any of them. Is that right? *shakes head no* It's not even a way I WANT to be. I just feel like for the sake of my SELF I need to make certain decisions.

It's funny I feel this way b/c in the beginning of my marriage I really disliked my mother in law. I pushed her away and now I recognize exactly why I did what I did and acted the way I acted. It wasn't b/c she was meddling and nosey (which she still is) and it wasn't b/c she was bossy and overbearing (she still is) but it was because she actually loved me and that's not something I was used to. Now, I'm not saying my family doesn't love me or my children...that's not it, it's just hard to explain. My mother in law (and my hubby's family) subscribe to the AGAPE love theory. They love you through your faults, your wrongdoings, and your good days. It's that unconditional love that I'd never felt before. Often times when you're wrong people push you away and label you as "bad" or "no good." MIL (mother in law) is the total opposite. She loves harder when you're down and out. She loves harder when you don't even love yourself and that's exactly what I've needed all of my life.

The mature thing to do would be to let me mom and my family know what I feel but I can't say that will ever happen (which is unfair to them). They have a right to know what's going on in my head but right now...I just can't see me ever exhausting myself to go through it. They aren't very receptive of things like that and it'll only irritate the shit out of me to try to.

Another thing I think that is separating me from my family is their acceptance of my being abused when I was younger and the fact that the person that abused me is still at the dinner table on holidays like all is well or something. No one believed me then...and it sickens me to my stomach to know that they are rubbing elbows with this perv IN my face. *snaps fingers* That's IT! It's a feeling of betrayal I'm feeling from all of them...and I don't take betrayal very well.

God thank you for that revelation...of course I know what I need to do to make it right, I just don't know when. *sigh*

G'Day Folks,

Lady Doss

Losing Faith

I seriously think I'm starting to lose faith in the 'institution' of marriage. In the past two days I've had one friend tell me her husband has profiles on all these adults sites and ads for erotic services and then yet another tell me her husband has been communicating with an ex who 'he shouldn't have did wrong and let go' on MySpace. I'm beginning to think people get married b/c it's the thing to do after you've dated for awhile. No one respects it anymore and it saddens me. It's almost as if I need to constantly look around for that boulder called 'cheating' or the asteroid named 'divorce' because it's inevitable. *sigh* Why can't men and women be mature enough to tell the person they say they love when something isn't right? I mean I know there are cases when they say something and the other person either pretends they don't hear or acts like they don't understand. Does it condone what most people do? No...I'm just so frustrated with the world. I'm not saying I'm a saint by any means but I just want to know when this cycle will be broken? This is not what God intended to happen when he created marriage but then again a lot of us are married knowing full well it wasn't an 'act of God' to begin with.

You know...the bad thing is a lot of these men and women don't think there's anything wrong with what they are doing. It's either she/he'll never know...or this is harmless. My friend told me that he said the only reason he was in touch with her is b/c he 'hurt her...' and 'she was there before you were' and 'I missed out on a good thing.' Now I don't know about you but that sounds to me like...I was really in love with her but I was dumb and let her go. You came along and made me forget who she was and I married you not thinking that she would resurface. Now I' married to you but I'll always wonder if what we had would have worked. I could be wrong...but that's a guess. If someone were to tell me that, I'd be beyond hurt...not b/c there was someone before me, but b/c he settled for me, you know? No one wants to feel like that. I hate b/c there's nothing I can really say to make her confident in her marriage again...hell I don't want to be in the midst of the problem anyway, but then again...what are friends for? I can't pretend like she doesn't need me, right? I spoke to her this morning when I got in and she sounded as if she was ready to give up and let him pursue his ex...she said if the feelings were still there even though he denies the fact then she needed to step aside and hopefully he'd see one of two things...either how good he had it or how good he had it (get it? :) ). As for the other friend (w/ the husband living another life on the Internet and in other cities) I didn't respond to her e-mail b/c I really didn't know what to say...I mean I want to say, go get a check up STAT! but I don't want to open a can of worms. I want to say my opinion but I've learned my lesson from getting involved in other folks' mess...especially relationships.

I do know...that now I'm on high alert...not b/c I don't trust the man I married...but Satan is BUSY. Married people, keep the communication lines OPEN at all times so that we can try and combat the attack on marriages. In the end it's all we have...*sigh*

G'Day Folks

Lady Doss

Torn...

Sometimes I really have to pray and ask God to not take His hands away from me. Every since we went to church on Sunday I have been battling the devil. It's almost as if I have a nice angel on one shoulder and a bad angel on the other. I know what the Word of God says so I understand WHY I'm going through what I'm going through. I just don't WANT to go through what I'm going through. I can say that I'm glad I have an outlet to keep me from going in the wrong direction. Writing really is therapeutic.

Something that's really bothering me is my job. If you've read ANY of my blogs you can almost put money on the fact that this isn't the easy place for a saved person to work. Ray Charles could see that...and he's dead. Shucks when he was alive he was blind...so it MUST be easy to see. Right? Anyway, I'm just so tired of the environment and I'm waiting on God to tell me why I'm here or IF I should be here in the first place. I know, at times, we are placed in situations so that others may see God in us and believe you me...I've tried but (<--there's that word again) it's hard trying to be the light in darkness when the darkness is so overwhelming. There is ONE person in this whole office that's saved, and even I question that. I mean I know she GOES to church but I don't know if she's going for the man of the hour or to seek God. (It's not my place to wonder though...so anyhow) I want so badly to have the relationship I had with God but I'm just so lost as to where to start. I know getting back into fellowship is a good start but I know it's going to take much much more than that to actually make it...especially if I'm still working here. I want so badly to just walk out on faith but I have to be responsible for my family. That really sounds crazy seeing as if I have the faith to believe it He will do it...I'm just so confused. I know God wont put me in a position to be in total despair but sometimes I have to wonder if He'll allow me to put MYSELF there. I'm trying to figure out if not listening and waiting on God is the reason I'm here or what...*sigh* I know what I need to do...

Dear God,

I need you. I ask that you dwell in me like never before. I realize that I can't live without you and I can't make it on my own. Save me God...save me from ME God. There are things that are in me that aren't like You and I ask you to remove them from me. Make me whole again. But God I also want to thank You for doing what I just asked, for I know if I have the faith to speak it..it's already done. Give me the strength to make it through this day and the wisdom to discern your Word from the world's word. I am yours Lord and if it takes you breaking me and starting me all over again, I submit. And Lord, when I feel like straying away show me this prayer Lord so that I can stay on track. Thank you for your sacrifice of your Son for my sins. Forgive me Father....

Amen

Lady Doss

'Granma' are you proud?

I remember as a little girl my 'granma' would always tell me 'get some prideness in yourself gal...you just so slouchy!' What that meant was, I was sloppy and didn't care. I wasn't 'pretty' by today's standards and I didn't do anything to enhance the beauty I had (b/c I didn't know I had it). For years she would fuss at me to clean myself up and be a 'girl' (b/c I was a tomboy) but that never really clicked. As I grew up I began to realize I was 'pretty' but no one really emphasized that beauty....until I met my husband. There is so much he's done in my life that I don't really think he knows he's done. My self esteem/worth has skyrocketed since meeting him. He makes me feel like the prettiest woman on this planet and dammit it feels good. He wakes up beside me and whispers 'hey beautiful' every morning (for the most part *laugh*) even when I KNOW I look a mess. On those days when I just don't feel 'beautiful' it's almost like he has a radar that picks up on it and he turns all of those feelings around. I know most of you will be like 'huh' when I say this...but there is a downside to that. Now that I believe I am what he says I am it's almost (<--- I inserted that word for my own benefit. *smile*) made me conceited. I mean I know I'm not 'better' than anyone (per sé) but I've noticed that I can come across that way. I now hold my head high..sometimes higher than most. I now look down at people...and I'm not proud of it. I swing my hair...sometimes unnecessarily. I flaunt my french manicured hands and feet...even though I shouldn't. My question is...'granma' are you proud of what I've become? Is this what you meant by 'prideness?' I'm not really sure...I do know one thing though; I sure like this extreme better than the other one.

Now, do I need to work on me? Sure do. Am I going to work on me? More than likely. Do I thank God for 'granma' and hubby? More than you'll ever know. Is hubby going to stop making me feel like #1? Hell no. Do I need to channel those feelings into something other than conceit? Yeah I do. We all have issues...and this is just one of mine.

G'day folks!

Lady Doss

How much are you worth?

Over the long weekend I watched a LOT of tv (most of it being reality tv) and it got me to thinkin...how much am I worth? What's the price that I'm willing to go on national tv and act an ass or worse? Last night after a lot of thinking, I concluded that no price was worth my self respect and dignity. It amazed me how some people acted for $50,000 (Charm School) or $1 Million (Survivor). I'm not picking on these two shows but this is just to give you a general idea of the type of TV I'm talking about.

What I don't understand is are these people's self esteem THAT low that they feel the need to act out on television to understand their self worth (or lack there of)? Take Dustin (Screech from Saved By The Bell) for example, he is trying so hard to dispose of that 'fantasy' image that he's downright disgusting. He has no respect for others or himself and his reason is 'it makes good tv.' Another example is Larissa (Bootz from 'Flava of Love'). I don't know what to say or think about her. On one hand I HOPE and PRAY she's doing all 'this' for tv but on the other hand I think it's who she really is. I want to believe that she is the way she is for fame and fortune but I don't know. Lastly, Flava Flav....God where do I begin? What scares me is I really think he is ok with manipulating people and making them look downright sad on tv to make a little change here and there. Do I believe he's looking for love? Hell no. Do I believe he's 'out to get his?' Hell yes. How do I know? I heard him say it on radio. It seems to me that people would stop falling into the traps of these reality tv shows and such...but then again what's their price?

I guess I can't say too much about that though...it does make good tv. I'm a reality tv fanatic at heart but you would never catch me acting stupid for a check...that's just not me.

G'day folks,

Lady Doss

Emotions

Have you ever come in contact with someone who just drains you emotionally? It's almost as if you are fine until you get around them and all of a sudden all happiness and glee is sucked right out of you? How do you handle something like that? Do you try to cheer them up or just accept that they are stuck with a permanent black cloud over their head? Do you pray for them or just pretend they aren't affecting you? People have always called me emotional (b/c of my connection with ALL of my emotions *wink*). I love hard, hate even harder, and wont hesitate to let you know when I'm sad. Why can't all people be like that? I mean you don't have to take it to the extreme that I do (b/c I can be quite dramatic at times) but seriously, some people need to learn when to let things out and let things go. I equate people who hold on to things to people who drink Clorox with their dinner. Why keep those toxins in? Why jeopardize your well being over something you can't control? Let those feelings OUT and move on. I also can't stand people who get upset at you or over something you've done and pretend like you're the best thing that's ever happened to them when they know something is bothering them. They have what I like to call the "What's wrong, nothing..." syndrome. There is also a group of people out there who have the "This makes me sad, mad, depressed, etc. but I'm not going to do anything about it...syndrome." These people really irritate me b/c they don't (won't or can't) do anything about the situation they are in. For example, if your toe is broken what good is you talking about how bad it hurts and how it makes you feel if you wont go to the doctor? Sorry for the vent...I just can't take much more. If I have one more person e-mail me, call me, or come up to me with a black cloud over their heads and refuses to do something about it I think I may just scream. Depression is real people...seek help.

Anyhow, this weekend (well actually on Sunday) we went to Chattanooga and I was again reminded why I left that wretched place. I mean it was nice to see the people who I call friends but I kept asking myself if it was really worth the irritation. I'd like to believe that things change...but in a lot of aspects they really don't. The same people at the church are in the same position they were in when we left. They are sitting in the same pew, singing the same songs, shouting the same way, wearing the same clothes, & still fake. I honestly don't think I want to ever go back to visit. After this weekend I really think that chapter in my life is over and I am closing that book for good. Chattanooga was the last chapter in my "First Quarter of my Life" book. I'm now working on the "Second Quarter of my Life" book and I pray that all the mistakes I made and all the crap I endured wont even be remembered in this second book of my life. For 25 years I suffered (sometimes by my own hand and others not) and that's just not how I want to live moving forward. I want to forget all those things and only take from them the lessons learned and the strength I took from it. To do that I have to leave some things and people behind. I mean there are a handful (IF THAT) of people that I want to keep by my side and I don't want to name names b/c some of the 'left behind' people may read this message. (I know you are thinking...'you normally don't care what you say' and I really don't care if they know or not...it'll just make it easier not to endure the drama associated with writing someone off for good). Those who I chose to keep by my side will know it b/c I will be sure to let them know.

Lastly, today my solider (my brother and my friend) leaves for his tour of duty in Iraq. I can't say that I'm not upset, but I think I'm now at peace about the whole thing. Granted I think this war is about a personal vendetta and I think our President is an incompetent prick but I respect him as a person (as hard as that is to say) and I respect his decision to send our troops to Iraq (even though it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard). All I can do at this point is pray for his (and the other troops) safety. God Bless our Troops.

G'day folks,

Lady Doss


P.S. I don't know what happened to my formatting at the end...and I don't feel like trying to fix it...it still reads the same. lol

You can find it in the A...

So I haven't blogged in a while and it's honestly b/c I didn't have much to write about. My life was in a 'lull' for a few weeks filled with nothing but waking up, going to work, getting off, cooking dinner, & going to bed. Nothing thrilling at all...up untillllllllllllllllllllllllllll YESTERDAY. Only in Atlanta will things like this happen:

1. So I'm walking to the bank yesterday....minding my own dang business and enjoying my ice cold 12 oz Sprite when this oompaloompa looking Wizard of Oz munchkin height having man walks up to me and says *drumroll* "What's up shawty (shorty)?" In disbelief I say "how ironic..." (it's dripping with sarcasm). He says "What's that?" (as in what's ironic) I say "the fact that you are a grown man who stand less than 5 feet tall and you had the NERVE to call ME shorty." The funny part about this was I looked over my sunglasses and down at him when I said it. I still had my straw in my mouth and I stopped midsip to say it. Ya'll had to have been there...I had to chuckle at my dang self. He was apparently offended b/c he immediately called me a bitch and walked off. Unaffected I continued on my merry little way...Men. *smh*

2. So this morning (again minding my own business) this little old lady named Maime acting a straight fool on the elevator from the train station. A little background about Maime....she's really outspoken and loud. She also doesn't care what she says and who hears it. You think I'm bad? Naw, meet Maime. She works in 'facilities management' here in the GP building (which I think is a crock - her ass is a janitor, all those unnecessary syllables are extra. Call it what it is...) Anyhow, while we're waiting for the elevator she's talking to another man of African descent about how she doesn't vote for people just b/c they are black (as if anyone asked why she voted for who) and he's so ambivalent that it's not even funny. She then goes on to tell him that Joseph P Lowery is a fool b/c he spoke out against Yolanda King being cremated. Then she goes on about Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. I'm like "Lord don't let her ask me anything b/c I really don't want to go "Black Power" with this woman." God really does answer prayers b/c when I put on my sunglasses (in this dark train station might I add) she got the hint and focused on ol' dude. THEN (this takes the cake) we get on the elevator and there are two men of hmm...American descent (?) on the elevator only they don't get off. This is alarming b/c there are only two floors (the street and the concourse). She says "Well aint you gettin off?" They were like "No ma'am." (It's quite clear that they are landscaping workers or something of the sort so to me I'm like 'ok' they must have gotten on the wrong elevator and need to go back up...fine by me. I go ahead and step on...she doesn't) Then Maime proceeds to study each man from head to toe and grunts "hmph"...she says "I gotta make sure you white men don't plan to kill us black people." She reads each man's name badge "Robert Hull and ..." (well I don't remember the other one's name). THEN she turns each man around noting the 'shape of their heads' and what they are 'warin' (wearing) saying "Ima remember what ya'll look like...you know white folks say black folks all look alike but shiiiiid ya'll look alike too." I swear if I could have I would have turned beet red b/c these men are looking at me like 'get your grandma...please?' I give them a ' I don't know this damn woman ' shrug and sip my coffee. Just when I think she's finished she blurts out 'I hope ya'll got a back up plan for work b/c when they pass the bill to let all them Mexicans work here ya'll aint gone have no jobs." If I had not had on my sunglasses my eyes would have popped out of my damn head...I swear. Robert's reply was 'Well sister you got THAT right..." (Why did he call her sister?) Maime says ' We can agree but I aint yo damn sister.' I'm praying 'Lord....let these doors open so I can get the hell away from these people' (and yes that's exactly how I prayed it). Just then *ding* the doors open...I nearly take off running (in my stilettos might I add) thinking..."only in the A....ONLY in the A"

G' day folks!

Signed,

Lady Doss (who doesn't want to go to Nashville after work today b/c the ride is so long but she wouldn't dream of missing the chance to say goodbye to her solider who is being deployed and may not come back b/c of Bush and his stupid grudge against God only knows who.)