How much can one take?

I'm not sure why I chose that title for today's blog but I did. So where should I start? I would go back and see when the last time I blogged and start from there, but that would require me to go back out of this window, etc and I'm just not going to do it. At any rate:

I had jury duty wed- friday of last week. I know I know...most people groan at the thought of even having to show up to potentially be picked but I didn't. I actually WANTED to serve on jury duty...but that's b/c I was bitten my the Criminal Justice bug and I have the fever. So I show up on Wednesday bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to do whatever it is jurors do and I sat and waited for a good three hours or so...well no it was more like...2...yeah 2 until they began calling names for jurors. I was juror #24 of #60. I was like "YES!" that means I'm called...it's only 10ish so that means I'll be outta here in a few and I go get my nails and toes done. WRONG! Boy was I WRONG! Little did I know, I'd be there until 7 PM...yup 7 o'damn clock. (in the NIGHT...and yes I said in the night.) Law & Order never shows you just how a jury is selected for a criminal trial. For those of you who have never served here's an eye opener:

1. 60 potential jurors are called to report to whatever courtroom they choose.
2. All 60 of you (well 59 in our case, I'll get to that later) are polled in a group. Different questions are asked to determine potential biases, etc.
3. THEN, each of you (yes 1-60) are polled individually by the prosecutor, defense, and judge privately...(is that redundant, individually privately? well no...I don't think so...anyhow) AFTER that long drawn out process. ...
4. The jurors are selected. Now it doesn't sound as painful as it was...but 60 people at 10-15 minutes a piece is a LONG ass time.

OH, and if you're summonsed (is that right?) please just serve your time and move on...don't be like juror #37 (hence the 59 of us and not 60) and show up, sign in, and sneak out....This idiot showed up, watched the orientation video and dipped the hell out. Now that might've worked in high school...or even in college...but don't try it at the Fulton County Superior courthouse. This dude couldn't have been the brightest of the bunch b/c he left and went HOME. The judge ordered the bailiff to go get him and bring him back. Sure enough about a hour or so later he was ushered into the courtroom in handcuffs. The judge brought all of us in the courtroom for his hearing and it was CLEAR that he didn't have it all upstairs. The judge was like "what gives you the right to just leave?" He said "the video told me to" Say what now?!? So after a few rounds of questions the judge says, "well you have to serve...where you serve is entirely up to you." He goes..."which one is the best?" Clearly irritated the judge said "it's up to you...I'm neutral" The guy shook his head and proceeded to sit his ass down. I guess his choice was to sit through jury duty and not do it in a holding cell.

So back to the case. (now that it's over I can openly discuss it...) For those of you that know me, you'll see why this case was a really...what's the word? It was just really...a "wow" for me.

A 6 year old little girl named Erin* goes to her grandmother's house on the weekends while her mother works 3rs shift. While sleeping, Erin's grandmother's boyfriend James comes into the room to "check on her." One day his "check on her" becomes "curiosity" and he touches Erin while putting the covers over her (or taking them off...he told more than one version). Erin, a scared little girl, allows this to go on until one day she confides in an older cousin. The older cousin instructs Erin to tell someone what's happening to her...she does...and the roller coaster begins.

According to James he was only putting the covers on her...and when asked by the detectives why he "may have touched her buttocks" he stated he was "curious." While hard to hear...and even harder to swallow, I remained impartial and listened to all evidence in the case (as hard as it was). The deal breaker for me was when the grandmother took the stand (in defense of her "man") and testified that her granddaughter Erin and her mother were "some liars" and she "never" left Erin alone in the house with James. She even went on to say that her relationship with Erin was "perfect" and when asked the last time Erin was at her home she replied "ionno, it's been a while." The DA asked, " some days, weeks, months, years?" Granny replied "years."

I cried all the way home that night...why? Well my name is Lady Doss, and as a girl I was molested by my grandmother's husband...I, like Erin, waiting years before telling anyone what happened...only Erin had the resources to face her predator and put him away for a long time. I never know why I didn't get the same chance, but I have a feeling it had a lot to do with my grandmother who "never" left me alone with him and told authorities we had the "perfect" relationship. I also can hear her saying "Lady Doss' and her momma are some liars..." but I'll never know.

Again as God would have it...I was elected jury foreperson...and after around 2 hours of deliberation we found him guilty on all three charges (Child Molestation; Aggravated Sexual Assault; & Sexual Assault). While reading the verdict to the perp he didn't even flinch, he never once looked me in the eye...as if he was ashamed of what he'd done. Although hard, it was therapeutic. I lived THROUGH Erin, through her courage to testify, through her strength to carry on...and Erin, now 14, will never know how much her life influenced mine. Reading that verdict was closure in a sense for me...b/c I never got the chance to tell my attacker he was guilty (although I'm sure I can...since he and my grandmother are living a proverbial "happily ever after" to this day).

I didn't write this blog for pity or I'm sorrys...I just hope that in so much as Erin helped me...I can help someone else.

This shit is real...as real as it can get. I changed the victims name to Erin so that she could have some kind of real life after all of this...but James well I pray that he is rehabilitated while he serves his time. I honestly do. I wanted so much for the evidence not to point to his guilt b/c I know first hand how allegations like this can destroy a family unit...hence my NEVER going back "home" unless by force.

With that being said...

G'Day folks,

Lady Doss