I'm kinda perturbed that the cook downstairs doesn't understand simple breakfast terms. For example "I'd like my eggs scrambled" seems to confuse the shit out of him. Today I decided to make it EASY on him and just get three strips of limp bacon. This lil faggot stares at me like "what the fuck is that?" and proceeds to pick up the crispiest bacon in the pan. I said noo...limp...and flipped my wrist (since I knew he'd understand that shit). Low and behold...he goes OOOOH and picks up the bacon I want. I'm like for real? Goodness.
Oh and I do think I need to start all over learning to walk...for the second time this week I've nearly busted my ass walking from the train station to work. On Monday I was rocking my fierce red boots but it was kinda windy and a little wet out so I was being extra careful (or so I thought). A gust of wind came through and I started sliding down the sidewalk like I was skiing or some shit. Now it would have been easy to catch my balance, but I had my laptop bag on one shoulder. Purse on the other...and holding my cup of tea. I looked like...I don't even know what I looked like screaming and flailing trying to catch my balance. People were looking...probably laughing...the whole 9. Praise balance beam Jesus I didn't fall though. I tell you what...I refused to turn around and look back, I damn near ran into my building.
THEN today...I'm fierce again but I have on my black stiletto style knee boots and some jeans...I'm like Kanye "you can't tell me nothin" till I start damn sliding again. This time though...people are looking, pointing, and shit...I look back to pretend like I slid on something and say "ya'll better be careful, it's a little slick right there" and try to run into my building again. Now either I can't walk in heels or the "you gonna bust your ass" demon is out to get me. I'm scared as hell to walk to GSU to get my December Marta card. My damn luck I'll fall slap in the middle of Peachtree. *frown*
Since the semester is practically over...I'll have more time to blog. So get ready to rumble (or tumble in my case).
G'Day Folks!
Lady Doss
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
About Me
- LNA
- A self professed “Grace Case,” Elle is a 29 year old accomplished writer. Having written and been featured in national magazines such as Essence, her unique writing style has been said to be “thought provoking” and “more emotional than most.” She believes in being an open book and through that prays that her life experiences help others avoid the mistakes she’s made and overcome. As such, her memoir “Loving Me In Spite of Me” is filled with life lessons and coping mechanisms. Her mantra “love me or hate me… I’m me unapologetically” has helped define her writing style.
Good read Mrs. Doss!
ReplyDeleteYou're comments are funny as heck!
kj
Um, you just can't walk in heels!!! I say you stick to 2' inch heels and under, please and thank you ma'am. You are 9 feet tall, so you don't need the height AND that is all :)
ReplyDelete*crying real tears* @ "Balance Beam Jesus"
ReplyDeleteGLORY! lol
yeah, i have to agree with Porcha, you already tall as hell, skip the extra three inches....However, if you are anything like me, and you tend to be, then you can't live without your heels so....maybe just walk in tennies to work and switch them out upon arrival:)
ReplyDelete