"Divorced Not Dead"

It's about time I put the rumors to rest and speak on this issue. If you know me you know how incredibly private I can be about my personal life...on the other hand if you know me you know I can also be an open book of sorts. I've always said that if my life experiences can help someone else then I'm all for sharing them. With that being said...

I'm DIVORCED not DEAD!

It is AMAZING the questions people ask me about my divorce, dating, living, etc. True no one marries to divorce... that's like buying a car to crash it into a brick wall. However, there's something to be said for a man or woman that can marry, divorce, and MOVE ON with life. For some reason people expect divorced people to mourn over a dead relationship the same way they would

mourn over a dead body/person. I disagree. Yes, you may need time to heal after a marriage dissolves but those that have been in the position I am in also know that if you are divorced or divorcing your relationship was terminally ill for a while and it died a slow painful death. After experiencing something like that... why WOULDN'T you want to move on?

I recently had a conversation with a guy I reconnected with from college. Do you know this dude had the nerve to say, "I'd love to take you out but I'm afraid you'll start crying." I couldn't help but laugh but it was the most absurd thing I'd ever heard in all my 27 years on this earth. (If you're reading this... laugh with me, lol) Divorced does not automatically equate to overly emotional dried up and bitter. If anything my having been married before is the experience that's needed to make things work a second time around. Most jobs require experience right? To ME I know the mistakes NOT to make if marriage happens for me again.

Yes, I can date. No, I wont break down and cry when I do it. Yes, I'm divorced. No, I'm not going to spontaneously combust if you approach me. I don't have the plague people...

I read a very true quote today and I'm going to adopt it as my own..."I got married, I had kids, I got a divorce...and now I'm pursuing life on MY terms" (I use MY loosely cause what God says for me to do... I do...now.) Divorce can easily feel like a LONG drawn out death and just like an actual death, you must not only go through the grief cycle (bargaining, denial, anger, depression, acceptance) - one must ALSO begin to rebuild. That's exactly what I'm doing. I've accepted my divorce I've also accepted I am NOT damaged goods. I know my worth and I refuse to be defined my silly stigmas like divorce = personal demise. I'm just fine people... in fact I'm still standing.

Monica said it best...whatever don't kill ya makes ya stronger...well I must be the worlds strongest woman.

Still Standing...You can bet your last that my head won't hit the floor... never.