Life...

Yanno, there is so much I want out of life but the part that sucks is...I have no idea what those things are. I think that's God's way of telling me to "shut up and listen" so that He can guide me according to His plan. I think I'm at a point in my life where if I DON'T start listening to Him I'm going to regret it. With that being said, I've really gotten serious about what His word says for me. It's hard and I knew that as soon as I stopped entertaining Satan and his temptations that he would try even harder to get my attention. I'm just so thankful for God and His mercy because although Donnie nem said "we fall down but we get up" I don't think he meant "we fall down 8 million times per day and although we as sinnners abuse the fact that God is going to pick us bak up again He continues to do it" (or then again maybe he did).

Another thing I'm GRA8FL for is my new friendship with the Mitchells. It kinda sucks that they live so far away, but I'm sure if it's in His plan for them to move closer that's exactly what will happen. There was a point in life where I didn't think we'd ever find true friends again (considering how we'd managed to screw up past relationships) and lo and behold here comes Kish and Ant. It's funny though because when she came up to me on the ship and asked if my name was "Tonya" (and I knew she meant Tasha but had forgot - I was being my usual assholish stuck up self) I'd never imagine in a million years that I'd be calling her "friend". I've learned to reserve that title for those who genuinely respect and deserve that title and she is just that. I love her to pieces (her and Smiley - her hubby). I see great things in the future for our friendship and God, for that, Thanks.

So I took a job without consulting God about it and I'm really happy He allowed the greater opportunity to shine through anyway. It's kinda tacky to leave a job after only being there a month, but what God has for me is for me, right? Right. The only part I'm struggling with is, how to give my notice. I've been sick all week and my prayer is that I'm better by morning. If not, it'll be easy to make my transition to the new gig. I'll just let them know that I've been sick and wont be returning. If I feel better tomorrow I will go in and let them know that my last day will be Friday. As cut throat as that sounds, I'm at the point where I'd rather not waste anyone's time anymore. That's just a battle I'll have to face for not listening (or seeking) God in the first place.

Speaking of God and seeking Him. I went back to Bible study last week. I went alone and it was really nice to worship without distraction. I never realized just how distracting taking your family to church can be. Now that's not to say that I wont be taking the kids and spouse to church with me, but I sure will be utilizing the nursery facilities more often. I may even have to ignore the man sitting beside me b/c quite frankly sometimes he takes my breath away. :)

We spent the day together today and it was really nice. (Well we kinda spent the day together...it was mostly me running back and forth to the bathroom and whining but it was nice nonetheless. I was so happy when he said he'd stay home and take care of me today. He's actually gone to get food (that I probably wont be able to eat) right now and it really made me smile when he offered to go get it. Yannno, sometimes he takes my breath away. :)

The kids have been gone for a week now and I can't say I miss them just yet. This break was WELL needed and although I'm ready to see them, I'm not rushing their arrival just yet. I really take my hat off to single mothers. If I were in a situation where I ended up a single parent, God help.

Well I think I hear the garage door opening...that means my hubby is back.

G'Night Folks,

Lady Doss