Mistakes Women Make

So today I found out that I was quoted in an article outlining the mistakes that women make while dating. It's an honor and I love it when my writing is featured in various places. I've been featured twice in Essence, newspapers all over the country, and more. Writing is therapy for me and I'm so excited when my life's experiences can touch others. The article was written by Jersey City Dating Advice Examiner Linda Dominique Grosvenor. If you'd like to read the entire article you may do so here. My "blurb" was on "Trying to Fix Him." I wrote:


Trying to Fix Him 

“We often equate the ‘super save a you-know-what” syndrome with men, but in all honesty it’s the women who struggle with this the most. We are inherently nurturing creatures with a knack for fixing what’s ‘broken.’ Now, in our defense we don’t ALWAYS do this on purpose; however, because we have been programmed to do so it’s hard to isolate this trait when dating.  Since my divorce, I’ve dated several men (older and younger) and all of them (even the one I’m now exclusively dating) had qualities that I wanted to immediately ‘fix.’ I knew that if I could help him to be ‘better’ I’d feel accomplished and he indebted to me. The repayment? Love.” 


There was a lot more that I wrote when she interviewed me because if you don't already know... I can be quite the verbose one. Here's the rest of my interview. Feel free to comment and agree or disagree with me. I welcome your dialogue. 


From my interview:

A friend of mine and I had a conversation recently that started with a question, “At what point do you settle? We all do it… just at different times.” She was stumped. Her first response was “never.” I called her bluff, “that’s impossible… the only perfect ‘man’ isn’t a man at all.” I went on to say, “and even then if you had him would he be enough? Or would you find something wrong with him so you can say you fixed him?”

I said all that to say, it’s a woman’s so called “rite of passage” to find a broken man and attempt to fix him. Otherwise… what sense of accomplishment would we have? We can do everything on our own remember?

“I could be congresswoman
Or a garbage woman or
Police officer, or a carpenter
I could be a doctor and a lawyer and a mother and a good girl
God what you've done to me
Kind of lover I could be
I could be a computer analyst, the Queen with the nappy hair raising her fist
Or I could be much more and a myriad of this…”

                                                                   ~ Jill Scott