Monday, July 5, 2010

I See Things

Remember the post on my life being a movie? Again, I'm SURE of this fact. There are things that God permits to happen (notice my wording b/c I now understand WHY and WHO lets these things go on) that are ONLY so He can get His Glory from me. I have a ministry in me I'm just stubborn at times and use the excuse "I can't hear" to mask it and not do it. TIME-OUT for that there. God I surrender to you and your Will. Whatever it is that you have planned for me to do... Here I am. Selah.

So let me tell you a story about the something I witnessed. Last night we were on the way home from South Carolina but before I could get on the road back to D.C. I had to take my brother 90 miles outside of my route to pick up his things from my mothers house. (This is important to establish timing... had this not happened I would have never saw what I needed to see) This irked me to no end because he'd bounced back and forth for an ENTIRE hour about whether or not he was going to come up with me. I was "walking out the door" at 5PM and at SIX PM we were still standing around trying to make a decision. As you all know I'm extremely controlling and hate it when things don't go my way. When I have a plan I want to stick to it... it's a character flaw called arrogance. Thanks to my Pastor John Jenkins, Sr I now know this. He's called me out TWICE on it and had I listened the first time I probably wouldn't have situations created to bring me down a notch or 5. I can admit this... I digress.

Anyway, he FINALLY decided that he would come with me to D.C. we got on the road to my moms and she called. "When you guys get to the house.. .stick around for a bit, I want to take a picture before you leave. We're right behind you." THIS ticked me off even more because I a) knew that she wasn't right behind us literally OR figuratively & b) we'd have to wait some more to get to D.C. Of course I cussed (when I hung up) but I was obedient. We got to her house, he packed his things into my car, and we waited. When my mom got there we said our goodbyes and for the first time in a very long time I prayed before we started driving. Now, I always talk to Abba (especially while traveling) but this time I stopped, asked His will to be done, and to get us home safely.

The drive started off just like any normal road trip would. Traffic was light and the speed limit was 70 which meant cruise control was in full effect. About an hour and fifteen minutes into our trip I noticed a brown/metallic colored Honda Accord speeding around everyone and everything. My assumption was that since said car was behind us that he/she was just trying to get home in a hurry. I don't understand the concept of speeding (that's why I stopped doing it....so much) but I was in the "slow lane" so if he/she needed to pass me they could. As the car got closer I could see that the driver's face was illuminated in the rear view and side view mirrors. She was texting and driving (erratically might I add). I literally said "wow she needs to cut that out... there are probably cops EVERYWHERE tonight." She sped around us, cut us off, tailgated the white Tahoe in front of us, sped around them... and over corrected. All I could see was that honda flying off the side of the road then flipping at least 4 or 5 times. The car came to a stop as we sped past...the Tahoe pulled over and we did too. My brother (being a trained soldier) just reacted. Seeing him in action made me respect him more than I already did. He and the driver of the Tahoe (which we would later find out is also a solider) both ran into a dark field in shorts and tee shirts. All I could hear was screaming from both the Honda and the Tahoe (there was a toddler in the truck). Then all of a sudden everything went quiet. It was an eerie silence considering everything that was going on around me. God had my attention.

We dialed 911 and tried to explain to the operator what just happened and where we were. The what was easy... the where not so much. It was dark, neither of the women left on the side of the road (while the men attempted to figure out if the driver of the car was alive) were in familiar territory. The operator couldn't pick up a GPS location from her cell so I called... they couldn't pick up a location from mine either. My navigation in the car was "searching for a signal"... the ONLY thing that would work was Twitter. I wont lie, the very first thing that went through my mind is... I can't tweet for help, people will think it's a joke and not respond (or something like that). That was a split second thought and I tweeted for help. All I knew was the signs I'd passed a little while back said Florence was in 10 miles. I knew we hadn't gone 10 miles since that sign but I was scared out of my mind so I couldn't think straight. This response came:

tweetdeez2 
@aRHOgant_Elle i just googled the SC Highway patrol & it shows on their site : DARLINGTON I20E [DARLINGTON COUNTY] x[BETW MM136/137]


In order to get that information I had to attempt to send my location via BBM to someone and the view the link to it. I couldn't so I tweeted it. Thank GOD someone was paying attention. The ambulance finally arrived and the men came back from the field. There wasn't anything further they could do so the paramedics took over. My brother said the first thing that came out of her mouth was, "you think I'll get a DUI?" and she passed out. She was drunk. He said he could smell the alcohol on her breath. All I could do was WOW. She wasn't doing ANYTHING that I hadn't done before. Yet, I was spared. Coincidence? I think not. It never is. 


Once we were back on the road I couldn't help but ask for a "why." There's ALWAYS a lesson in the things that I see... it's just up to me to acknowledge what's being said. After getting home at 5am and attempting to sleep... I sat straight up in my bed and shook my head. God revealed what He was showing me. I believe in signs... even the ones you can't always see. The accident happened between mile marker 13SIX and 13SEVEN. Coincidence? I think not. It never is. The number six represents "imperfection" spiritually. The number seven represents "completion" or "spiritual perfection." Here I was, halfway between 6 and 7. I could SEE exit 137. I knew it was there. I just couldn't decipher what was next. I never paid attention as I sped past exit 136 so I really and truly didn't know where I was or how CLOSE I was to  the next exit (the exit that I really wanted to see.) I'd witnessed a horrible crash and in searching everywhere there was no help except in the place I didn't want to go in the first place. When help finally came my human imperfection side showed up. I got angry that this person was drinking texting and driving. 


STAY WITH ME... I'M GOING SOMEWHERE

GOD... was showing me exactly where I'm headed. I'm imperfect in many ways. I'll never BE perfect but my call is to strive to be more like Him who is. I'm right between where I want to be and where I need to be. Exit 136 is comfortable. I think I can handle the speeding bullet of being in ministry and texting while drunk (ie: doing what the world is doing at the same time) only God is showing me that if I don't pay attention to the path and stay alert? I'm going to crash... and hard. I wont be able to find anyone to help either until I come back to Him. I'm almost there... I'm putting the phone down. I'm not allowing myself to be impaired any longer. I see it... I'm on my way.

As we were on our way away from the scene... passing exit 137 my brother said while pointing, "that's the exit she was trying to get to." 

I hear you Abba. Loud and clear.

Good Day Folks,

Me.

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A self professed “Grace Case,” Elle is a 29 year old accomplished writer. Having written and been featured in national magazines such as Essence, her unique writing style has been said to be “thought provoking” and “more emotional than most.” She believes in being an open book and through that prays that her life experiences help others avoid the mistakes she’s made and overcome. As such, her memoir “Loving Me In Spite of Me” is filled with life lessons and coping mechanisms. Her mantra “love me or hate me… I’m me unapologetically” has helped define her writing style.