Today when I logged onto Twitter one of my followers was tweeting about her recent blog post on feeling abundantly blessed. I had to check myself. I vent a LOT and sometimes I have to stop myself and ask if I'm complaining or merely letting my frustrations go. You see, God is really working with me. There are things I know He's telling me to do but He hasn't shown me HOW to do them. That's a terrible place to be in (of sorts). It's like being stuck between the dark and the light...you know that 5:30am stage of the day when you can see that the sun IS going to rise but you can't quite turn your headlights off? Yeah that.
It's like I want to go allllll the way "to the left to the left" (yeah I had to reference Bey, lol) but I can't see where I'm going. Ever driven with one headlight? Yeah that's how I'm feeling right now. Of course I know the solution to this and it's called faith. Right? It's easy to talk about it. Being about it? A whole notha ball game. On another note I know I'm kinda to blame for this whole "Abba you workin my nerves" stage I'm in. I asked for it. My specific prayer was to "increase my capacity for you God so that your light can shine through me and others may see You in me." Apparently I musta been realllly empty or shallow because I'm being STRETCHED beyond imagination. My biggest fears and challenges are meeting me head on and I'd be a big fat liar if I said it didn't scare me and frustrate me at times. I ironically the ONLY time I feel "free" is in His presence. I don't think this is a coincidence at all. I just think it's a part of Him filling me to be more like Him.
Yesterday my Pastor really touched on this part of my life. It was like God used him to confirm everything that I was unsure about. Then this morning my boyfriend said pretty much verbatim what Pastor had said (although he doesn't know he did it... well now he does but whatever) on top of that today's scripture was:
"Don't overlook the obvious here, friends. With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn't late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn't want anyone lost. He's giving everyone space and time to change." 2 Peter 3:9
I guess this all means that God is here... and my fear and frustration is unwarranted. All in His timing I suppose...
Good Day Folks!
Me
About Me
- LNA
- A self professed “Grace Case,” Elle is a 29 year old accomplished writer. Having written and been featured in national magazines such as Essence, her unique writing style has been said to be “thought provoking” and “more emotional than most.” She believes in being an open book and through that prays that her life experiences help others avoid the mistakes she’s made and overcome. As such, her memoir “Loving Me In Spite of Me” is filled with life lessons and coping mechanisms. Her mantra “love me or hate me… I’m me unapologetically” has helped define her writing style.
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