I remember as a little girl my 'granma' would always tell me 'get some prideness in yourself gal...you just so slouchy!' What that meant was, I was sloppy and didn't care. I wasn't 'pretty' by today's standards and I didn't do anything to enhance the beauty I had (b/c I didn't know I had it). For years she would fuss at me to clean myself up and be a 'girl' (b/c I was a tomboy) but that never really clicked. As I grew up I began to realize I was 'pretty' but no one really emphasized that beauty....until I met my husband. There is so much he's done in my life that I don't really think he knows he's done. My self esteem/worth has skyrocketed since meeting him. He makes me feel like the prettiest woman on this planet and dammit it feels good. He wakes up beside me and whispers 'hey beautiful' every morning (for the most part *laugh*) even when I KNOW I look a mess. On those days when I just don't feel 'beautiful' it's almost like he has a radar that picks up on it and he turns all of those feelings around. I know most of you will be like 'huh' when I say this...but there is a downside to that. Now that I believe I am what he says I am it's almost (<--- I inserted that word for my own benefit. *smile*) made me conceited. I mean I know I'm not 'better' than anyone (per sé) but I've noticed that I can come across that way. I now hold my head high..sometimes higher than most. I now look down at people...and I'm not proud of it. I swing my hair...sometimes unnecessarily. I flaunt my french manicured hands and feet...even though I shouldn't. My question is...'granma' are you proud of what I've become? Is this what you meant by 'prideness?' I'm not really sure...I do know one thing though; I sure like this extreme better than the other one.
Now, do I need to work on me? Sure do. Am I going to work on me? More than likely. Do I thank God for 'granma' and hubby? More than you'll ever know. Is hubby going to stop making me feel like #1? Hell no. Do I need to channel those feelings into something other than conceit? Yeah I do. We all have issues...and this is just one of mine.
G'day folks!
Lady Doss
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About Me
- LNA
- A self professed “Grace Case,” Elle is a 29 year old accomplished writer. Having written and been featured in national magazines such as Essence, her unique writing style has been said to be “thought provoking” and “more emotional than most.” She believes in being an open book and through that prays that her life experiences help others avoid the mistakes she’s made and overcome. As such, her memoir “Loving Me In Spite of Me” is filled with life lessons and coping mechanisms. Her mantra “love me or hate me… I’m me unapologetically” has helped define her writing style.
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