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Heart Attack
by Elle Nicole Andrews
Whether we chose to acknowledge it or not there is no one type of heart. As a matter of fact there are probably more types than I can ever come up with but thanks to Rev. Johnny Parker I have honed in on three of them. At my church we are in the midst of a series entitled, “Building Relationships That Last & Work.” We’ve focused on God’s purpose for relationships, why He designed them, and what we can do to sustain them. What we should do seems like a no brainer, but with the divorce rate higher than it has ever been in decades series like these are a must. I have my opinions on what makes marriage work… after all I’ve been there and divorced as a result of not doing what I know is right but I’ll stay away from my opinions and stick to the facts.
Misidentifying the type of heart you possess can in fact ruin an otherwise healthy relationship or keep you from entering one to begin with. The first type of heart, the validation one, is the one that I’ve been known to suffer with. How many of you have uttered the phrase, “I’m so hungry that I could eat a/an ” The same holds true for the validation heart. This heart seeks approval and validation from their mate and as a result will eat anything that is thrown at it. This heart starves for attention and often times a person with this heart can be lead to a life of promiscuity and failed relationships.
Next, is the judgmental heart. This heart is the one that we all tend to want to shy away from. This heart opens the door for masks and dishonesty. A person with a judgmental heart is hard to love because the lover is afraid of being his or herself. I’ve been in situations where I’ve been downright afraid to be transparent because of the repercussions of doing so. Out of these experiences I coined and now live by the mantra, “love me or hate me… I’m me unapologetically.”
Lastly, there is the wounded heart. This is the heart that is the eternal bleeding one; the heart that cannot properly heal. This is the person who is weary of love and loving again. He/she is what is classically defined as bitter by everyone but themselves. To them? They are being cautious. After all the risk of being hurt again is greater than the benefit of being loved completely and unconditionally. According to, Dr. Parker , the issue here isn’t the wounded heart but more so the unhealthy healing of said heart.
Which heart do you identify most with? What can you do to cultivate healthy relationships in spite of your heart? Are you willing to love again? I know I am…
