I am in disbelief...no seriously I am

I can't believe some people are still afloat in the business world. I am so pissed off I don't know what to do. Well you know I was on vacation last week right? How about a collection agency called my boss and he gave them MY information saying they needed to talk to me. So I get here Monday morning and I get a rude phone call from some prick talking crazy to me about a debt I owe in the amount of $9645.58 and they are threatening to sue. I tell them I don't know why he gave them my name but I don't know what they are talking about. I tell them that I'll ask and get back to them. I send my boss this e-mail:

I just got rude phone call about some apartments you owned at:

***********
Anytown, USA 12345

Apparently they are about to sue you for the amount owed to *******($9645.58) and according to them you told them to talk to me about it...only I have no idea what apartments they are talking about, nor do I know anything about this. I told them I had no idea what they were talking about and that I would speak to you about it but for future reference if there is something like this don't put my name on it knowing I have no idea what it's about. I hate being dumbfounded on the phone and even moreso I hate being yelled at and spoke to rudely(as if I'm the one that's been avoiding their calls) about something I don't know anything about

-----------------------
He then responds, 'don't take anymore of their calls.' By now I'm pissed so he calls and tells me he gave them my name and a fake phone number and he doesn't know how they found me. WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!??!!?!? So today I call the man back and tell him that I don't handle what he's calling about and I'd appreciate it if he would stop harassing me about it. The guy calls back and now he's been calling every minute for about an hour. He wont STOP! I don't know what to do...I'm to the point where I'm going to just pick up and tell them that he lied and is avoiding them so he'll leave me alone...but I shouldn't have to. What kind of unprofessional ass backwards shit is that??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

Enough about that stupid madness...we had a WONDERFUL time on vacation. We visited a 'clothing optional' beach and boy was that a sight for sore eyes (pun intended). I DID participate in the optionality (<--not a word) but I kept my bottom on. Hubby on the other hand let his nuts hang like it was the garden of eden. More power to him...shoot he was the biggest thang out there (again pun intended). I swear I've never seen so many big red balls and little pink dicks in all of my years on this Earth. It was amazing...I was like "honey is that what happens when you get old? I mean do your balls just take over like that?" It's something you really have to experience. THEN we saw a woman who probably hasn't seen her whoha in 26 years. She had so much fat and stuff hanging and carrying on she looked fully clothed in blubber. Again...simply amazing. The ship was wonderful but I swear I was glad to get back to Atlanta with all the crazy vernacular. My ears were hurting from straining to understand the crew members and their accents. Sheesh...speaking of which when we got home we had to drive to Thomson, GA to pick up the kids (that's the halfway mark between here and my Mom's house) on the way back we stop at the McDonalds (exit 172 off I-20 towards Augusta) and I kid you not every person that worked in there couldn't have passed the 1st damn grade. They were butchering the English language so bad it made my damn head spin. We pulled up to the window and what we heard was "ma I ta yo orda?" (and you know me...I was like "what?!?") he (hubby) ordered two 10 piece nugget meals one with a frutopia no ice and one with a hi ci orange no ice. She said something else we didn't understand and spouted off the total...he (hubby) told her "I'm not finished" and again she said something inaudible. She then said "dri roun toduh winda" (and you know me...I busted out laughing). We get to the window and she says "yo todal ieah..." and again he (hubby) told her he wasn't done ordering. She then says "wha u wana ayed" (and you know me...by now I'm DYING laughing in this chile's face). We add the kids meal and pay...she then says 'the receet will be at da nex winda' (and you know me...I'm engaged in knee slapping laughter)....BUT THIS TAKES THE CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The next dumbass can't talk either! She hands us the bags LESS sweet and sour sauce. We ask for some sauce and this ignoramous tells us she put some in the bag and hands him (hubby) A sauce. ONE sauce...for 24 nuggets. He says can you give me 3 or 4 more please? She says 'i gay you sum' we look in the bag and again tell her...no you didn't. She then looks at him (hubby) like he's lost his mind or something...so he says "sweetheart just give me the sauce,damn. What do I have to act like you didn't give me sauce for...my name aint Tyler Perry" PEOPLE I LOST IT THEN!!!!!!!!!! I swear I laughed all the way home about that.

OH I forgot to tell about how I was damn near detained on the ship...for $32.81...THRITY TWO EFFING DOLLARS!!! It was funny as hell though...we are in line scanning our cards to leave the ship when I hear bells going off sirens horns and all kids of crap. They then tell me you have a balance on your account please go clear it with the purser. So I'm like...Oh ok (thinking wow that was a little extreme doncha think?). I go upstairs and them nuts are trying to tell me I owe them not only the $32.81 but $296.00 more! I hit the roof and told them that I'd be spending another week on the Caribbean Princess before I gave them $300+ dollars. They were like 'well we normally don't let passengers disembark with a balance due.' Well my smart ass said, 'that's alright..shall I go back to the cabin I had or do I get a new one?' Long story short...they found their mistake and cleared that up STAT! Hell...

I guess that's all for now...but remember folks to wear your sunscreen...black people do BURN!

Later!

Lady Doss