So I haven't blogged in a while and it's honestly b/c I didn't have much to write about. My life was in a 'lull' for a few weeks filled with nothing but waking up, going to work, getting off, cooking dinner, & going to bed. Nothing thrilling at all...up untillllllllllllllllllllllllllll YESTERDAY. Only in Atlanta will things like this happen:
1. So I'm walking to the bank yesterday....minding my own dang business and enjoying my ice cold 12 oz Sprite when this oompaloompa looking Wizard of Oz munchkin height having man walks up to me and says *drumroll* "What's up shawty (shorty)?" In disbelief I say "how ironic..." (it's dripping with sarcasm). He says "What's that?" (as in what's ironic) I say "the fact that you are a grown man who stand less than 5 feet tall and you had the NERVE to call ME shorty." The funny part about this was I looked over my sunglasses and down at him when I said it. I still had my straw in my mouth and I stopped midsip to say it. Ya'll had to have been there...I had to chuckle at my dang self. He was apparently offended b/c he immediately called me a bitch and walked off. Unaffected I continued on my merry little way...Men. *smh*
2. So this morning (again minding my own business) this little old lady named Maime acting a straight fool on the elevator from the train station. A little background about Maime....she's really outspoken and loud. She also doesn't care what she says and who hears it. You think I'm bad? Naw, meet Maime. She works in 'facilities management' here in the GP building (which I think is a crock - her ass is a janitor, all those unnecessary syllables are extra. Call it what it is...) Anyhow, while we're waiting for the elevator she's talking to another man of African descent about how she doesn't vote for people just b/c they are black (as if anyone asked why she voted for who) and he's so ambivalent that it's not even funny. She then goes on to tell him that Joseph P Lowery is a fool b/c he spoke out against Yolanda King being cremated. Then she goes on about Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. I'm like "Lord don't let her ask me anything b/c I really don't want to go "Black Power" with this woman." God really does answer prayers b/c when I put on my sunglasses (in this dark train station might I add) she got the hint and focused on ol' dude. THEN (this takes the cake) we get on the elevator and there are two men of hmm...American descent (?) on the elevator only they don't get off. This is alarming b/c there are only two floors (the street and the concourse). She says "Well aint you gettin off?" They were like "No ma'am." (It's quite clear that they are landscaping workers or something of the sort so to me I'm like 'ok' they must have gotten on the wrong elevator and need to go back up...fine by me. I go ahead and step on...she doesn't) Then Maime proceeds to study each man from head to toe and grunts "hmph"...she says "I gotta make sure you white men don't plan to kill us black people." She reads each man's name badge "Robert Hull and ..." (well I don't remember the other one's name). THEN she turns each man around noting the 'shape of their heads' and what they are 'warin' (wearing) saying "Ima remember what ya'll look like...you know white folks say black folks all look alike but shiiiiid ya'll look alike too." I swear if I could have I would have turned beet red b/c these men are looking at me like 'get your grandma...please?' I give them a ' I don't know this damn woman ' shrug and sip my coffee. Just when I think she's finished she blurts out 'I hope ya'll got a back up plan for work b/c when they pass the bill to let all them Mexicans work here ya'll aint gone have no jobs." If I had not had on my sunglasses my eyes would have popped out of my damn head...I swear. Robert's reply was 'Well sister you got THAT right..." (Why did he call her sister?) Maime says ' We can agree but I aint yo damn sister.' I'm praying 'Lord....let these doors open so I can get the hell away from these people' (and yes that's exactly how I prayed it). Just then *ding* the doors open...I nearly take off running (in my stilettos might I add) thinking..."only in the A....ONLY in the A"
G' day folks!
Signed,
Lady Doss (who doesn't want to go to Nashville after work today b/c the ride is so long but she wouldn't dream of missing the chance to say goodbye to her solider who is being deployed and may not come back b/c of Bush and his stupid grudge against God only knows who.)
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