Emotions

Have you ever come in contact with someone who just drains you emotionally? It's almost as if you are fine until you get around them and all of a sudden all happiness and glee is sucked right out of you? How do you handle something like that? Do you try to cheer them up or just accept that they are stuck with a permanent black cloud over their head? Do you pray for them or just pretend they aren't affecting you? People have always called me emotional (b/c of my connection with ALL of my emotions *wink*). I love hard, hate even harder, and wont hesitate to let you know when I'm sad. Why can't all people be like that? I mean you don't have to take it to the extreme that I do (b/c I can be quite dramatic at times) but seriously, some people need to learn when to let things out and let things go. I equate people who hold on to things to people who drink Clorox with their dinner. Why keep those toxins in? Why jeopardize your well being over something you can't control? Let those feelings OUT and move on. I also can't stand people who get upset at you or over something you've done and pretend like you're the best thing that's ever happened to them when they know something is bothering them. They have what I like to call the "What's wrong, nothing..." syndrome. There is also a group of people out there who have the "This makes me sad, mad, depressed, etc. but I'm not going to do anything about it...syndrome." These people really irritate me b/c they don't (won't or can't) do anything about the situation they are in. For example, if your toe is broken what good is you talking about how bad it hurts and how it makes you feel if you wont go to the doctor? Sorry for the vent...I just can't take much more. If I have one more person e-mail me, call me, or come up to me with a black cloud over their heads and refuses to do something about it I think I may just scream. Depression is real people...seek help.

Anyhow, this weekend (well actually on Sunday) we went to Chattanooga and I was again reminded why I left that wretched place. I mean it was nice to see the people who I call friends but I kept asking myself if it was really worth the irritation. I'd like to believe that things change...but in a lot of aspects they really don't. The same people at the church are in the same position they were in when we left. They are sitting in the same pew, singing the same songs, shouting the same way, wearing the same clothes, & still fake. I honestly don't think I want to ever go back to visit. After this weekend I really think that chapter in my life is over and I am closing that book for good. Chattanooga was the last chapter in my "First Quarter of my Life" book. I'm now working on the "Second Quarter of my Life" book and I pray that all the mistakes I made and all the crap I endured wont even be remembered in this second book of my life. For 25 years I suffered (sometimes by my own hand and others not) and that's just not how I want to live moving forward. I want to forget all those things and only take from them the lessons learned and the strength I took from it. To do that I have to leave some things and people behind. I mean there are a handful (IF THAT) of people that I want to keep by my side and I don't want to name names b/c some of the 'left behind' people may read this message. (I know you are thinking...'you normally don't care what you say' and I really don't care if they know or not...it'll just make it easier not to endure the drama associated with writing someone off for good). Those who I chose to keep by my side will know it b/c I will be sure to let them know.

Lastly, today my solider (my brother and my friend) leaves for his tour of duty in Iraq. I can't say that I'm not upset, but I think I'm now at peace about the whole thing. Granted I think this war is about a personal vendetta and I think our President is an incompetent prick but I respect him as a person (as hard as that is to say) and I respect his decision to send our troops to Iraq (even though it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard). All I can do at this point is pray for his (and the other troops) safety. God Bless our Troops.

G'day folks,

Lady Doss


P.S. I don't know what happened to my formatting at the end...and I don't feel like trying to fix it...it still reads the same. lol