Aint Nobody Tol' Me Nuthin!

Today I was thinking about how there are so many things that I WISH someone would have given me a heads up on before I began to walk into those situations. As a parent, I now strive to ensure that my children are as educated about life as they can possibly be. With that being said here are a few of those things that I wish I'd known sooner:

1. Love THY self - Ok this one seems simple enough right? Yeah I thought so too... ONCE I got the hang of it. Sadly, I was well into my 20s before I figured out this concept. (For those of you who know how old I am... you're probably like "she just entered her 'well into 20s years'... you're right, that means I JUST figured out to love my OWN self. See the trick to loving anyone else is loving yourself first. A lot of people pour more into other people while neglecting their own well being. Been there done that... and now I'm sharing with you to not do it. Sometimes it's perfectly ok to be selfish as long as that selfishness isn't detrimental to your relationship with God (first) and family (second).

2. You only have ONE reputation - This goes hand in hand with loving yourself. I've made some serious mistakes in life. As a matter of fact I would venture to say that if it weren't for God I'd be a disease riddled, felon, in a pine box, buried in someones back yard. REAL TALK. Young ladies, don't do anything that you will be ashamed to admit later. That older guy on campus? (You know.. the football player with the million dollar smile?) Tell him to pop CeCe Penistons cd in and "keep on walkin." Yield not to temptation people... for temptation can ruin your reputation (often times before you even realize what hit you).

3. Your credit is more important that any other "thing" on Earth - Luckily I had the sense to read up on this credit thing and learn the ropes because prior to my early twenties I had NO idea what credit was and why I needed it. You see credit at a young age is easy to obtain and even easier to ruin. The bad part is, no one tells you anything about it until it's completely ruined and they want to help you "fix" it. Truth me told, there's no real "fix" to credit but time and discipline. Take it from me... just do right the FIRST time.

4. Marriage is HARD - I don't mean like Calculus hard. I mean like solving the nuclear code hard (is that even possible?) I mean like stubbing your pinky toe for the 3rd time on the SAME bed that has been there for years and now you want to cuss but you're trying to stop hard. I mean loving and hating someone at the same time hard. I mean Jesus be a fence all around me HARD! Don't let the tv shows fool ya. Weddings are nice... weddings are pretty... but no amount of money spent on an extravagant ceremony will prepare you for what happens after you say "I do." I would offer the key to keeping a marriage together and making it easier... but truth me told I'm still looking for it. Anyone have it? (and I don't mean something you THINK will work) Please feel free to let a sista know. As for now? I'll keep working.

5. If someone shows you who they are... believe them - I don't mean that people don't change. I mean... if someone is consistently one way when you're around them best believe when you're gone they are the EXACT same way. For example, the very same people that you sit around and talk about others with talk about you as SOON as you leave the room. That's life... that's how it works... so again: LISTEN WHEN PEOPLE ARE TELLING YOU WHO THEY ARE. (I'm guilty of the same thing... that's how I know)

6. True friends don't have to tell you they are true friends - I swear if I hear one more person feel the need to announce how great of a friend they are I'll probably scream. Most of the time? Your true friends are the ones you least expect. They are the ones interceding for you and you don't even know it. They are the ones defending you when your announcy "friends" are dogging you behind your back. They are the ones who'll slide the money for the bill you can't pay to the bill collector and never say a word about it... THOSE are the true friends. Don't be so quick to announce your BFF to everyone.... 9 times out of 10 that person aint your friend either.

7. It's ok to say no - I had (have) this one BAD. For some reason it's just hard for me to tell folks no. Learn to be ok with saying "No, I can't" "No, I don't have it" "No, you may not". It's empowering and sometimes folks just need to be told... NO.

8. What goes on in your house/apartment/car/truck/plane/boat (you get me?) stays in that place - I believe it's human nature to want to share your issues or problems with someone (or anyone) that will listen. Often times, we like to seek those who will validate our opinions, etc about a particular situation. One word of advice? Don't. Granted I have trust issues, but I realllllly don't trust anyone but God with my deep dark secrets. I live by the philosophy - If you don't want it repeated... don't repeat it.

9. Learn to take criticism - By this I mean constructive or not... learn to accept that you aren't perfect and whether you like what's being said or not be ok with taking the information and learning with and from it. I've learned to not be offended all the time by things people say to or about me. Sometimes, I may have needed to hear that I talk too much or that my pants were too tight. I'm ok with that... you should be too.

10. Don't argue with fools - Have you ever heard the saying, "never argue with fools... because people from a distance can't tell who is who?" It's true... nuff said.

I'm sure there are more... and I'll probably add to this list for years to come... but these were just a few that came to mind as I pondered life. Feel free to add to my list. Lady Doss

Peniaphobia

Is there a such thing as a phobia of being broke? According to a Google search there is. It's call Peniaphobia and I think I have it. Peniaphobia is defined as the "fear of poverty or being placed in a situation of lack." Ya'll I literally break out in a sweat if my bank account has less that a certain amount in it. I hate feeling like I can't go and purchase what I want (and often times those wants are only things like food, gas, clothing for my children, etc).  Just the thought of not being able to provide for us makes me physically ill. I guess that's why I'm such a hustle woman. If I can't find a job? I create my own company and employ myself. If my oil needs to be changed and I can't pay for it? I change it myself. 

I also think growing up broke as hell attributes to this phobia. I don't want my kids to EVER know what it's like to eat corn flakes with water 3 times a day in the summer. Or to look forward to going to school everyday because you knew that at least two hot meals were guaranteed. I don't want them to know what it feels like to never get a new pair of anything. Granted I LOVE hand me downs but I want them to get the feeling of opening a new pair of shoes or a new shirt. I love the fact that they have a nice home to live in. I love the fact that they both have tvs in their rooms. I think it really boils down to me wanting my children to have everything I didn't (and I don't just mean materials). 

As far as I'm concerned, I think a lot of the things I do for me now are to make up for my desolate childhood. I get my hair fixed and nails done because I know how good it makes me feel JUST to be able to do it. Some folks may call me materialistic... I say whatever makes you happy is what you should do. Granted, I'm one bargain shopper when I do shop but I have no issue shopping (*cheese*). All in all, being a broke child, teenager, and hell young adult has taught me to work hard and never stop hustling. I've learned a lot in my 25 (plus a few) years on this earth and one of them is...

I'm scared of being BROKE!

Night!

You Can Catch More Flies With Honey...

Than you can with that jacked up ass attitude you're sporting. Can SOMEONE... ANYONE... tell me why some women are the way they are? I swear if I hear one more woman tear "all men" down in one breath and complain about not having a "good man" because there "are none out there" I may just scream and pull my hair out strand by strand. (and if you know me you KNOW how precious my tresses are to me)

NOW, don't get me wrong... there are some trifling sons of bitches out there. You know, the ones that lie about the girlfriend (or worse wife) that's at home waiting on him to bring the pull ups he left 6 hours ago to retrieve from Baby's R Us that's now closed and has been for 2 hours.  Or the one who has the unsuspecting girlfriend who doesn't know they broke up because he doesn't really have the balls to tell her. Yeah them... 

HOWEVER that doesn't mean that ALL men are liars and trife. There are some GOOD men out there ladies but you can't see the sugar for the shit.

A small word of advice. Stop asking your girlfriends (who are probably lonely and dried up too) about why men do what they do or why they think the way they think. I'll be willing to bet if you pull a man to the side and ask him... you'll get more than your girlfriends speculations. Also, can we PLEASE stop with this "independent" talk? I mean yeah I GET that you can run the office from 9-5 but ya'll gone have to learn to HUMBLE yourselves sometimes.  It's ok to let a man be a man. It's ok to let him open your door. Hell it's ok for your "buy my dinner because I have a cooTch" ass to pay sometimes. 

Make a man feel like a man... show him you care... show him you need him (even if you don't) and I'll bet you all will be sending out save the dates in the near future. If not... keep doing what you're doing. It's working well for you, right?

*end rant*

Night!

Give It A REST Already...

Ok people...

I know I shouldn't give this any more "media" attention that it already has but can we STOP with the Mike Vick shit already??? I'm tired of seeing pictures of dogs, people with dogs, people without dogs but want dogs, and the like parading in front of television cameras bashing Mike Vick and how he should never be allowed to play football again. Can we STOP with the double standard already?!? The man pitted (no pun intended) DOGS against each other!!! It's a sad world we live in when four legged creatures with the IQ of a nut are valued more than human life. 

Like... I love T.I. but how this n-word gone have MACHINE GUNS (among other DEADLY weapons) and get a reality show and a reduced sentence?? My theory is this: Mike Vick committed a crime against white people by killing their beloved dogs. T.I. committed a crime against black people (b/c his plan was to blast on a few niggas, right?). We are ALL (or at the very least SHOULD be) aware of the racial disparity(ies) in the Criminal Justice system and this shit here is a PRIME example of it. 

I was reading an article in the AJC this morning and I saw this quote: 

“I don’t even feel like living in Hampton anymore — that’s how adamant I am about him being here, and I’ve lived here all my life,” she said. “I hope when he comes here that he’s not as comfortable as he thinks he’s going to be.”

I immediately researched some crime stats for Hampton and came across this:

• 1 in every 634 people are registered sex offenders (notice the registered... no telling how many are molesting folks and aint got caught yet).
  
• In 7 of the last 9 years Hampton's murder rates were higer than the national average.
• Folks in Hampton like to steal... and by steal I mean ROB your ass because for every 100,000 people living in Hampton 200 of them had been violently robbed. (as per CityData.com)
• Oh and property crime is off the chain... actually there are 3306 property crimes per year per 100,000 people living in Hampton.

Now you may say... that doesn't sound like a lot. I beg to differ. The population of Hampton, VA (in 2006) was only 147,000. (http://hampton.areaconnect.com/statistics.htm).

I said that to say this: to the idiot who is uncomfortable living next to a person with a "god awful" dog fighting conviction... stupid ass you're more likely living next to a rapist, drug dealing, murderer who steals your cars, jewels, and potted plants. Uggh 

*stepping off soapbox*

I would end by saying Mike Vick I hope you recover and become the NFL MVP for the next 26 years... but that's about as likely as the people of Hampton, VA inviting him to sing kumbyah at the next camp meeting.

Have a great afternoon folks!

Wow....

I'm convinced... I love the hell outta myself. Like there are days when I look in the mirror and get aroused. *smh* It's so much so that my new theme song is "Wow" by Kinfolk Kia Shine. As GHETTO as the song is it goes HARD on the chorus. Even better than that one line in the song says "Everytime I get dressed... I start a new trend." Isn't the absolute hotness? 

Here's the ghetofab hoodtastic video: ( I tried to embed this shit but it wouldn't let me... so anyhow..)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOsCHtMgtAw 

Moving along... I said I would start blogging again so here goes. If I don't blog just nudge me and hold me to it. I really enjoy it and I love the fact that my stories make people laugh, sometimes I just don't feel like doing this shit.

So I'm extremely excited about my weekend. I don't have a THING planned (really) but just knowing that the weekend is coming is enough for me.

Before I go, I want to pose a question... do you have anyone in your life that just annoys the shit outta you? Like their mere existence makes you cringe? Like when they speak your skin crawls? I do... and it's beginning to get on my FUCKING nerves

*scuse my french*

Night!!

I'm baaaccck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So yeah... I haven't blogged since last year. (ok corny joke but whatever)

In any event, a LOT has been happening since then.. more than I have time (or care to) write about. I just wanted to announce that I'm back and I'm NEW & IMPROVED!

I'd love more than anything to stop using four letter words... and with the help of the Lord I will. Amen.

G'day folks,

Lady Doss

P.S. I'm working on a book of daily devotions and a book about... well me. Stay tuned for details on THAT but in the mean time, if you want to subscribe... and please do... send an email to:

ladydossdailyword@gmail.com

T shirt and NO pants on...

You know you realllllly need a break when...you leave the house with no pants on. This morning I did what I normally do. I got up, showered, fixed my hair, put on my makeup, put on my shirt, and got the kids up and dressed for school. I made them breakfast, fixed them juice, and put them in the car. I put on my shoes, jewelry, sunglasses, perfume, and body splash. I even put on my seatbelt...but I FORGOT my damn pants!!!!!!!!! I literally drove almost 10 miles before I realized, "stupid you forgot your pants." I kept saying "It sure is chilly out today..." I even turned my air off...I couldn't figure out why I was so cold until I LOOKED DOWN. I couldn't believe that I was driving around with NO pants on but fully dressed (including shoes) otherwise. I'm sure my children were like... "umm yeah, she's finally lost it." So I turn around...truck it back home...and put on my pants. Talk about ASHAMED!

Speaking of kids...they are something else. The other night Daddy put a hole in the ceiling (another story in and of itself) and Sydnee took it upon herself to tell on him. Our normal routine is I get them ready in the mornings and Daddy prepares them for bed at night. So when the kids and Daddy disappeared the other night I knew it was bed time...little did I know, Daddy was on his own Dora and Diego adventure in the attic. You see, there is a leak SOMEWHERE in our attic. I determined the source of the water coming through but maybe I wasn't convincing enough for Daddy because he insisted on investigating the leak himself. There was one thing he wasn't banking on though...*see below photo*



Yeah...there's a beachball sized hole in my ceiling only because Daddy didn't listen to Mommy. Isn't there a lesson to be learned here folks?

So anyway...Sydnee comes downstairs, pats me on the leg...and says "Moommmmy Daddy put a hole up thayar." Amused I asked, "Up whayar?" She replied, "Up THAYAR" (as if to say, dammit quit acting like you don't know what I mean!!!) I go upstairs and there's Daddy smiling and I'm sure thinking "I sure as hell hope she doesn't go off..." His vibes didn't mesh well with mine b/c I think I lost it for a second. LOL Of course I was determined to find the good in this situation so I decided to ask the kids what happened. "Kids?" I said, "Did Daddy fall out of the sky?" Of course Alex says "Yeah *smirk*" (his answer to everything is "yeah") and Syd looks at me like "didn't I just TELL you that???" I thought that was the funniest thing.

Lastly, as I type this blog from my Blackberry I just have to wonder...why do people put the disclaimer that "this message was sent from my Blackberry...please excuse spelling and typing errors" as if there isn't a spell check feature on the device. I'm hoping that all Blackberries aren't created equal or something b/c I just don't understand how hard it is to choose "Check Spelling" from the menu and CHECK IT! Now I understand grammatical errors b/c I don't THINK there is a grammar check feature but seriously people...

G'Day Folks,

Lady Doss
*chooses Check Spelling feature before hitting publish*