4 reasons why I will NEVER fly Northwest Airlines again...oh and I made Hertz history too.

Well...what a weekend it was...I'll start with the good stuff:

Reason 1: Northwest Airlines 476
Departs: Saturday, March 24th, 9:00am

Well we got well rested Friday night for the trip to Ohio. Everything started out great. We got to the airport a little behind schedule but little did we know we'd be happy we did. Upon boarding the plane (first of course...kids have their advantages) I just knew that something was going to go wrong...and it did. When we were boarding I heard the gay flight attending say "Call the mechanic the 'something inaudible' is binding." I didn't know what the heck that something was, but I knew if he was calling the mechanic then it wasn't good and that meant we wouldn't be leaving any time soon. I was right...we sat there for about 30 minutes which OF COURSE put us on high 'rush mode' for the rest of the day. The flight wasn't as bad as the other three...but dang.

So anyway...we arrive in Detroit AFTER our connecting flight is to take off which takes me to...

Reason 2: Flight 3792 (operated by Northwest Airlink)

Since our other flight was delayed we are damn near running trying to get to gate c26 and not get left. We make it about 5 minutes after the 'departure' time and are relieved that the plane hasn't left...this meant nothing as this wasn't even the effin gate we were leaving out of. Nevermind no one bothered to tell us about the gate change...them heffas announced all the gate changes on board our first flight BUT this one. So anyhow...we get to the gate and both of the attendants act like they didn't want to get up for work that day. The fat one is yelling at the skinny one that 'THEY ARE ALREADY ON BOARD" (yes, we were standing right in front of her). After their lightbulbs pop on they realize that we are departing out of gate c20. We truck it down to this gate praying that we haven't been left...and...well...we weren't. This particular attendant looked like Mario Lopez's bobble head and was as sweet as splenda in a diet coke. He took his pretty sweet little time getting us on board the flight, but we made it. This plane is a 'little bity' plane (as Donte would say) and it's as cramped as a lot of 'them folks' in a honda civic coupe. We get settled on this plane and prepare for take off...however a certain passenger by the name of "Mr.McDerment" has other plans. He refuses to turn his cell phone off...and not only that the idiot refuses to hang it up. Now if you've flown post 9-11 you know this is a huge no no. You can sneeze and they think that's a terror attack so down right defying FAA regulations is a big HUGE no no. As we are taxiing down the runway we notice 'commotion' at the front of the plane. The attendant (who is black - go figure) has the neck rotation going on telling Mr. McDerment to hang up the phone and 'stow it until further notice.' He refuses and argues with the attendant saying ' you didn't say anything to him!' (sounds like someone I work with huh?)
The flight attendant says "this is between me and you" and I bust out laughing...as this is going on I notice that not only has the plane stopped but we have PULLED OVER off the runway like it's 285 or something. We sit there for a good 20 minutes before we TURN AROUND and pull back to the damn gate. Apparently the flight attendant called to police on ol McD and we had to turn around. We get to the gate and on comes the police "Mr. MrDerment...come with me." and he's escorted off. Ol McD is a stupid ass because the flight from Detroit to Akron, OH is 20 minutes...and who ever was on that phone could have waited. A felony for a 20 minute flight...idiot.

This brings me to my Hertz history making event...the car rental was a part of the package (air + car) and since this was a package it was pre paid. When I made the reservation I called Hertz to ask the following questions:

1. I am under 25 will this be a problem? "No, but you will be required to make a $100 cash deposit"
2. I am making this purchase using my debit card but here it says I must present a major credit card to rent. Is this going to be an issue? I'm flying from Georgia into Akron and I would hate to be stuck. "Oh no Mrs. Doss...since you are pre paying you will just need to present the card used to make the purchase for identity purposes"


WHY when I got to the counter did Char say..."We can't rent to you, you are under 25...and even if you were 25 or older you can't rent using your debit card, however if you consent to a credit check and pass you may be able to rent" (and then she said "MAY")

I was like 'ummmmm I purposely called the 1800 # and they told me that this would be fine." She said "well we don't do that here...." (as if her Hertz is independently owned or some shit)

I said well give me the number and I'll call... (this is the short version because I argued with her for at least 10 minutes. After a 17 minute hold they tell me yes you may rent, let the counter agent know that. I go back to the counter and this old decrepit something or another says "We don't do that here...and my manager wont be here until Monday..sorry." By now I'm upset...I ask the rep on the phone "did you just here what she said?" The rep said "I did...you have her call the 1800# and ask for a supervisor"

Char calls and is proved wrong...and of course, me being the woman I am I bask in that glory. I wanted to be like "take that bitch" but that isn't what Jesus would do. She rents me the car and gives me the insurance free and a tank of gas as well...I guess that one paid off...BUT

Reason 3: Northwest Airlines 4738

Gabrielle shouldn't be a flight attendant...b/c she lacks every skill it takes. I'm almost tempted to read the job description online and I'm sure she would be out of a job if it depended on that description. We get on board (albeit late a DANG gin - Donte was 'randomly' selected for a strip down search...than you Osama) and this bitch says "Hmph, they shouldn't have sat all 4 of ya'll together cause there are only 3 oxygen masks and one'a ya'll aint gonna be able to breathe"

I'm in COMPLETE shock..I just can't believe the way this child is talking to me (us). I tell her "Honey they've already explained to us what to do in the event that happens and you didn't have to be so rude about it either." Then she says "I'm just trying to look out for your safety don't get mad at me..." WTF!?!?!? She walks off...and not 2 minutes later she comes back and says "Since you think I'm rude and all I thought I would come back and tell you this...since this is my job" Ya'll know me...I said "I know what your job is and this aint it..." she proceeds to tell us the exits are here blah blah blah...and we take off...

Reason 4: Northwest Airlines Flight 473

This flight appears to be a nice smooth one...until we are on the runway about to take off when lo and behold we pull over. The pilot comes on and tells us "we haven't been cleared for take off due to weather on our route..." Ok, correct me if I'm wrong but was it NOT 80 degrees in Atlanta and surrounding areas today? The 1.5 hour flight ends up taking us 2.5 hours including the time we sat on the runway and the circles we had to fly in the air b/c there was no where for us to land in Atlanta. I swear hell will freeze, pigs will fly, and Jesus Christ Himself will sit on my couch and enjoy a glass of Moet and hot wings before I fly on that airline again...I mean shit happens, but WOW!

We made it there and back safely...but woosah!

I will be forwarding a copy of this to Northwest...I feel they need to know how their passengers feel. *takes a bow*