Which Way?

I got lost driving to work this morning. It was rather irritating because I absolutely HATE to be lost and I absolutely HATE to be late. I was both this morning. Now you may ask, "don't you go to work every day? How in the world do you get lost going to a place you drive to and from everyday?" There are a couple reasons. As I was driving in this morning I encountered traffic and decided that I would take a short cut to avoid the traffic and possibly get to work earlier than I normally would. 

If you know me (lol) you know that I talk to myself a lot...like full blown conversations with myself. It keeps me out of trouble...but I digress. Anyhow, as I was driving I discovered that a 5 minute shortcut was taking a little too long and I found myself saying out loud:

"Every time I try a new way I get lost."

I promise I heard God laugh at me and say "well that's what I've been trying to get you to understand. I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. (John 14:6)" I knew then that the reason I was in the situation I was in was that God was about to use this as a ministry opportunity. It ALWAYS happens and I thank Him for the gift. 

The ministry in this was that I should’ve stayed on the tried and tested path and dealt with traffic. I knew the way to go, after all I drive it daily, I just didn't want to deal with the traffic (or tests/trials) that were on the path laid out for me. Much like our walk with God we know the way but take shortcuts to try and avoid the test and trials along the way .Never mind the benefits outweigh any of the emotions associated with "going through."  Romans 5 teaches us that "... because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next." 

The last part of that scripture is extremely important because as we all know there is an enemy who seeks to destroy us completely and totally. (John 10:10) Have you ever had a car ride in your blind spot? Most of the time you don’t know the car is there until you attempt to move and you nearly (or do) collide with the car. Satan is JUST like that. The Bible teaches us that he is clever and knows exactly what to do to cause us destruction. These things are called temptations. This morning I was tempted by a “short cut” when I knew full well the way to go. I feed into my selfish desires not to endure the traffic ahead and as a result I was late to work. Being late has consequences. The same holds true with God’s plan and path for your life. You WILL get to the destination He has for you but succumbing to your own fleshly desires may cause you to steer away from the path and ultimately cause you to arrive late. Late arrivals could cost you blessings or you may miss a very important lesson that will help you once you reach the place God has for you.

This was a powerful lesson for me this morning as I am in this very place in life now. I’m learning to stop and pay attention to what God says to me and ironically once I turned on my GPS it led me back to the EXACT point I steered away from the path. Thank you Abba for a second chance… I hear you LOUD and CLEAR.

Good Day Folks!

P.S. My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence? Galations 5:16-18

Under Cover Lovers

I'm sure when you saw the title of this entry your mind immediately went the "wrong way." However, I want to speak to the importance of spiritual intimacy in relationships. How sweet is it to be "under cover" by your mate? How wonderful is it to know that he/she is constantly praying for (or covering you?) 


I am of the opinion that spiritual intimacy is as important (if not more) as any physical intimacy that people in a relationship can share. Joseph Walker write a book entitled "Love & Intimacy: Five Ways to Get Together and Stay Together." In this book he breaks down the things that are important in order establish a healthy relationship and ultimately marriage. In the section called "Biblical Blueprint for Relationships" he says, "Too many people are getting into relationships with people who are not on their spiritual level." I couldn't agree with this any more! Knowing that I can spend time with God and my mate at the same time is a very wonderful feeling. It provides security. Being able to see him vulnerable with God provides peace in knowing that when he can't he knows someone who will and can. Knowing that he is mature enough to surrender to Him is comforting. Knowing that we can talk to God about each other while with each other is a form of lovemaking that can never be replaced with sex or a "worldly" attempt at satisfaction.  


While I understand that the Bible challenges us to spend personal time with God, I've always wondered why some men and women hold an affair like relationship with God. They give him traits that we would equate with a mistress. Whenever God calls they run off to a closet to talk to Him. If God does something amazing for them they don't share it with their mate. The great feelings that God plants in their spirit they keep to themselves. 


Matthew 18:20 says, "Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there." This also applies to relationships. Whether married or dating you are still children of God and as such when the two of you agree and pray together God begins to move in your lives collectively. We spend a lot of time planning dates, weddings, our lives, and so on with the one we love why not devote just as much energy to intimate time with God together? 


My challenge to those of you in relationships (married or otherwise) try this form of intimacy and enjoy being an "Under Cover" lover. 


Good Day!

Broken

I picked up a peppermint today...began to unwrap it... noticed it was broken... and threw it away. I picked up another (whole) piece unwrapped it and stopped dead in my tracks. Why didn't I want the broken piece of candy? What was more appealing about the piece that appeared "perfect?" We both pieces not the exact same thing?


Life is a lot like this. Broken people are treated as if they can't be used because of their status. There are people who are broken from abuse, broken from divorce, broken from a loss, and more. Does that mean these people cannot be used by God? Of course I yell a resounding "NO" so does society may think (or at least their actions show) otherwise?


Before I go any further let me just put it out there that I'm a broken screwed up jacked up messed up daughter of Eve. I don't have all the answers nor do I proclaim to. I can, however, share my conclusions based on the experiences God has led me through and the victories I've experienced as a result of embracing my brokenness. 


As some of you very well may know, I am very vocal about my life experiences. I'm a firm believer that my calling includes the gift (if you will) of  helping prevent someone else from making the same mistakes I've made. More specifically my call is to prevent WOMEN from doing the things I did and helping them to achieve a better outcome in life and relationships. Some embrace my wisdom and trust my knowledge knowing that I speak from experience. Others choose to dwell on my broken status and question how on Earth God can use a broken woman to edify His people. Aside from the numerous examples in the Bible of this I take this approach to the naysayers... a strong woman is a woman determined to do something others are determined not be done. To most a broken masterpiece is no longer valuable. To me a masterpiece is not a masterPIECE until all of the pieces have been revealed, examined, and embraced.The below photo has millions of tiny pieces that create this image. Each of those pieces define the image that you see before you. 

Learn to embrace your broken status and remember what others think of you and your broken status isn't any of your business. Learn this lesson and it is then that God will reveal the masterpiece in you as He has done in me. I love me... in spite of me...Selah. 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
~ Marianne Williamson ~

"I See Great Potential..."

Scene from "The Sixth Sense" 1999, Hollywood Pictures

How many of you remember this infamous scene? Or better yet, how many of you remember the confusion associated with it ( and the movie in general? ) Today, I was sitting in my office extremely frustrated because I just couldn't understand why I was feeling so unfulfilled with things. There wasn't a thing I could really complain about and have a good reason for doing so. Things appeared to make sense and be comfortable but then it hit me... the very thing(s) God called for me to do, I'm not doing. Although on the surface it would be easy to "excuse" my way out of it the only valid reason I could come up with as to why I hadn't walked (all the way) in the things God has for me to do is... FEAR...paralyzing... FEAR. 

In the movie The Sixth Sense Cole struggled with the same issue. He was afraid to confide in Dr. Crowe about the things he saw because he didn't trust him. He was afraid of his reaction. He wanted to keep his secret to himself because if no one knew... no one could hold him responsible and help him work through the things he saw. THAT'S where I am. God has placed some HUGE things in my life. He has revealed my purpose. "I see great potential..." in myself but I'm paralyzed by fear. I see what's on the other side of the road yet I'm afraid to cross it. The risk, to me, is greater than the reward. People may think I'm delusional (as did Dr. Crowe when Cole confided in him). However, if you are struggling with fear the same way I am remember to channel that fear into positive energy. Just like Dr. Crowe encouraged Cole to use what he saw to obtain what he knew to be I implore you to do the same. You never know who you are really helping by walking on purpose and not in fear.

Remember... Dr. Crowe was dead the entire time... and Coles ability to see "dead people" was the very thing that gave Dr. Crowe the clarity and revelation he much needed. You have great potential... you see it... tell somebody about it and use it.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. - 2 Timothy 1:7

It Is 4 O'Clock In The Morning... Do YOU Know Where Your Mate Is?

It’s 4 o'clock in the damn morning... 

Do you know where your mate is? I've noticed lately that a lot of people become extremely comfortable and complacent once the person they tried so hard to get decides that they'll be gotten (lol). What is it about relationships and commitments (marriages included) that make people decide that the goal has been reached and thus there is no reason to do what it took to get the person they have? I'd even venture to say that falling "in love" is sometimes the most damaging thing a couple can do? Why? 

Easy. People treat courting and relationships like a weight loss challenge. They set a goal, work hard to achieve said goal, and then STOP everything they were doing to get there. Well we all know what happens when you do that right? You get fat all over again. Apply that to relationships these days. We spot our dream come true. We buy her flowers. We cook him all his favorite dishes. We send her sweet text messages. We show him how grateful we are to have him... and then... they say, "Yes, I'll be your girl/boyfriend or husband/wife."  

*record scratch*

All of a sudden everything that we did to get them goes flying out the door and eventually so does the person you worked so hard to get. You have 4am moments where you can't pinpoint where he or she is. We must not forget that it's human nature to follow the euphoric feeling of love and loving. If we aren't getting that "high" from the initial source we go find someone or something that can provide that feeling be it real or fake. I should know. I’ve done it. Yup. Guilty as charged. 

Complacency like many other relationship problems is like the plague. You catch it. It spreads. You don't hear it or see it and by the time you realize what is happening the damage is done. It is so easy to fall into a daily routine and just forget what relationships are all about. With soooooo much to do we tend to forget that relationships, like everything else in life, have to be worked at and nurtured. We fail to make time for our partners and when we do it's some afterthought at the end of a long hard day when we lack the energy to show how much we love and appreciate each other.

When partners (especially women) begin to feel neglected they often start with the subtle hint that they feel that they aren't important any more. They may tweet that they feel unloved. They may update their Facebook status to reflect their feelings of undervalue. Boredom with the daily routine sets in. And so it begins...

It is 4’oclock in the morning…Do you REALLY know where your mate is?

It is all too easy to brush aside their innuendos. You just assume that they know you love them and expect them to understand that you are tired. You assume they understand that you don't have the time and before you realize…

It is 4’oclock in the morning…Do you honestly know where your mate is?

Continuing to ignore these signs can become a very clear indication to your partner that your “life” without them is more important than your “life” with them. After a while it won't matter that you are busy and important at work or that the duties and responsibilities of friendships and extracurricular activities are getting in the way, they will just see this big neon sign saying 'you don't love me any more' and at 4 o’clock in the morning you will roll over and your mate isn’t there. You will start to call and get no answer. You will notice that the subtle pleas have stopped. Then? It’s too late.

It is critical that no matter what life throws at us we show our partners we value them in our lives every day of our lives. Relationship problems like complacency, boredom, jealousy, lack of trust and even infidelity tend to appear out of nowhere and just like that what we worked for and what we have enjoyed can crumble away before our very eyes.

How can we combat stale relationship syndrome? That’s easy. Just never become complacent. All it takes is those small gestures, nothing fancy, nothing time consuming, nothing expensive just small and thoughtful little gestures that show love, respect and affection for each other. Or you can look at your clock… see it’s 4am …and wonder where your mate is. Take your pick.

Sex? Me? Sex Me? I Think I Just... Might.

In today's society I think people are down right confused about sex and sexuality. I don't mean whether they like men or women or men who dress as women or women who dress as men or whatever. I mean, people don't know IF they want to have sex and WHY they want or don't want to do it. I've heard more people than I can count announce "I'm celibate" and I have a burning to ask them "well why?" For some odd reason I get the feeling that they haven't the slightest idea why they want to be "celibate" or what it even means... other than it sounds really "good" (to them) to say it. I have a HUGE issue with those people (who am I? Well nobody in the grand scheme of things but...hey).


First, most of us aren't celibate. Period. We use "celibate" and "abstain" interchangeably but in actuality they aren't exactly synonymous. "Celibacy" is the absence of SEX period. All forms of sexual activity. Now *intense stare and eyebrow raise* after knowing the real deal definition, how many of you can honestly say you are "celibate?" I'd venture to say... MAYBE 1% of US and I'm being generous. If you've ever had sex before? If you've ever experienced that euphoric feeling of an orgasm? If you ever self satisfy? If you ever dream of the things you and Superhead or Mr Marcus could do in private? You aren't celibate. 


"Abstinence," however, is the absence of sexual intercourse (even if said person is married - YES a married person can "abstain".) In the book The New Celibacy, Gabrielle Brown says that "abstinence is a response on the outside to what's going on, and celibacy is a response from the inside."According to this definition, celibacy is much more than not having sex. It is more intentional than abstinence, and its goal is personal growth and empowerment NOT saving your "goodies" (used or otherwise) for "the one." Edgy enough? 


I'm sure some of you are like, well if I've had sex before why can't I then decide that I want to be a "born again virgin" or "become celibate?" In my opinion you can't. It's impossible because I believe in soul ties. Spiritually speaking, a soul tie is the bonding or knitting of two souls that can either bring tremendous blessings or tremendous destruction. What's the variable? The PERSON you choose to tie your soul with. I believe when you have sex with a person (intercourse/phone/cyber/etc) the feelings normally reserved for two people who have more than a sexual attraction to each other (ideally married) are tapped into and creating a mysterious (of sorts) lifelong knit to that person. When you experience this act with more than one (or 10 20 30... and so on) think about the knot you have created? Think about how frustrating it is to untangle Christmas lights when the time comes to reveal them to the place (the tree) they are actually supposed to be on? How many times have you said, "had I left them in the package and not opened them this would be a lot easier?" I'm paraphrasing for the sake of illustration but think about it? Why create a big mess when it can be avoided?


Am I advocating waiting until marriage to have sex? Not exactly, I try not to be hypocritical. I'm human and sometimes fall into desires of the flesh. Lust... is a desire of the flesh. Lust... is a sexual activity. 


The next time you lay down with someone ask yourself is this person someone I want to be entangled with forever? If you can't honestly say yes. Get up... and RUN. (The Bible did say FLEE sin didn't it?)


G'day folks,


Elle

Heart Attack

http://www.chatkafeonline.com/profiles/blogs/heart-attack-by-elle-nicole

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Heart Attack 

by Elle Nicole Andrews

Whether we chose to acknowledge it or not there is no one type of heart. As a matter of fact there are probably more types than I can ever come up with but thanks to Rev. Johnny Parker I have honed in on three of them.  At my church we are in the midst of a series entitled, “Building Relationships That Last & Work.”  We’ve focused on God’s purpose for relationships, why He designed them, and what we can do to sustain them.  What we should do seems like a no brainer, but with the divorce rate higher than it has ever been in decades series like these are a must. I have my opinions on what makes marriage work… after all I’ve been there and divorced as a result of not doing what I know is right but I’ll stay away from my opinions and stick to the facts.

Misidentifying the type of heart you possess can in fact ruin an otherwise healthy relationship or keep you from entering one to begin with. The first type of heart, the validation one, is the one that I’ve been known to suffer with. How many of you have uttered the phrase, “I’m so hungry that I could eat a/an ” The same holds true for the validation heart. This heart seeks approval and validation from their mate and as a result will eat anything that is thrown at it. This heart starves for attention and often times a person with this heart can be lead to a life of promiscuity and failed relationships.

Next, is the judgmental heart. This heart is the one that we all tend to want to shy away from. This heart opens the door for masks and dishonesty. A person with a judgmental heart is hard to love because the lover is afraid of being his or herself. I’ve been in situations where I’ve been downright afraid to be transparent because of the repercussions of doing so. Out of these experiences I coined and now live by the mantra, “love me or hate me… I’m me unapologetically.”

Lastly, there is the wounded heart. This is the heart that is the eternal bleeding one; the heart that cannot properly heal. This is the person who is weary of love and loving again. He/she is what is classically defined as bitter by everyone but themselves. To them? They are being cautious. After all the risk of being hurt again is greater than the benefit of being loved completely and unconditionally. According to, Dr. Parker , the issue here isn’t the wounded heart but more so the unhealthy healing of said heart.

Which heart do you identify most with? What can you do to cultivate healthy relationships in spite of your heart? Are you willing to love again? I know I am…